“A fast-paced encounter between two distinct teams, the inaugural match of the Arathor Priemership saw plenty of thrills and spills for the fans. Lord Varok's hordes of beastman retained their shape well enough to bundle over two touchdowns through driving runs deep into the elfish half, while Coach Fruitloop pulled off some magnificent power-plays, urging his players to dodge their way to victory - and it nearly worked. One particularly swift run saw them burst through the chaos lines and score in 2 turns.
Rookie Wardancer T.Blackburn suffered a smashed collarbone when brutally fouled by 3 beastmen, his brightly coloured cloth uniform offering no protection from the merciless stomping of hooves.
Revenge was extracted by Radovan Poochop, who snapped the neck of Beastman Gorban with a flick of his wrists -the referee being momentarily distracted by the elfish cheerleaders.
Lord Varok appeared unconcerned about the loss, speaking after the match "Gorban who? Plenty more beastmen where he came from! It is a great honor to die for Lord Varok, and tonight, we feast on Gorbans mangled brains!" he roared, shortly before headbutting our reporter into unconsciousness and storming off to defile some virgins.”