“After the defeat to some handy Halflings (lesson learned - Vamp's should avoid Halfling's) Go For The Juggler decided that if they couldn't splat a bunch of short-arses into the middle of next week, then they might as well try their luck against a bunch of brutes instead. Alas the reverse psychology employed by Coach Clownfoot didn't have the desired effect - Krom Obenhands, in the first block of the game, decided to run headlong into Black Orc Biff's hefty clothesline and found himself ever so slightly decapitated. Coach Clownfoot already had his head (not Krom's) in his hands...

Despite some swift retribution in Milte Mittesburg crippling Black Orc Bang, it really was one of those days in charge of a Vampire team. Plenty of blocks were thrown, but the Orcs just kept jumping back up again. Vital plays were laid to ruin, as the Vampires in the squad decided they preferred to feed on their Thrall's rather than play the ball. Even the composed Lord Bitten couldn't stay on his feet to prevent the Mean, Green's well deserved first touchdown. It was pretty much a disaster of a half.

Coach Clownfoot hoped things couldn't get any worse in the second period. Alas, fate seems to have a wild and wacky sense of humour, much to the Juggler's bemusement. Everything seemed to be going quite well. The Vamp's had controlled the ball, defended well against a couple of savage Orc blitzes, had shored up their opponents in tackles despite their own dwindling numbers and, somehow, with minutes remaining, had crafted a genuine opportunity down the right wing thanks to the agile and gutsy movement of Lord Bitten and Count Down. With a minute to go they looked like equalising! All Count Down had to do was dodge past the last man in defence and a touchdown was his...

But this is a Vampire team and things are never that easy. Rather than going for the dodge, Count Down's stomach growled like a bear with a hangover and feeling 'the taste' turned to the Thrall next to him and sunk his teeth into a nice, juicy artery. And then to rub it in, Mean Green made a most spectacular play - Count Down was robbed of the ball and a hand-off and short pass later the ball was in the opposite end zone!

Coach Clownfoot was seen to mutter 'unbelievable' as he stomped back to the locker room scratching his head in bewilderment at what had just happened. The Juggler's looked forlorn and devastated in a way only Chelsea players have experienced following semi-final defeat, after semi-final defeat against Liverpool. A female Juggler's fan later quipped 'now I know what it feels like to be kicked in the knackers!' Too true lady, too true...”