“Well now it is a pleasure for me to dictate this press release to the Ankh-Morpork Times, concerning the start of our Guild team for this new-fangled sport called "Blood Bowl" - though I don't see much bowling haha don't write that down Harry.

We played our first match against some Barbarian Invaders from near the Hub. In the first few minutes we showed them some city style battery and let the crowd join the fun. After that we played with the ball a bit must do something musn't we but eventually Mr Blacksly gave the ball to 'Bendy' Fidlam well I say gave it was more sort of a persuasion with gentle force who then walked to the end of the street for what we Blood Bowl players call a "touch down".

We then switched sides,probably because we'd taken all that trouble to get to the other side in the first place, and had at it again. There was a bit of a punch-up and some of the others were hit a bit too enthusiastically by 'Nosher' Lobbygow ha ha that reminds me of when 'Nosher' hit old Jenkins with his truncheon so hard his shirt burst under the pressure don't put that bit in Harry after which they had to be treated a bit, or carted away to the Watch House for some rest. In the end 'Bendy' took the ball away from Mr Blacksly again to score another of them touch down things.

I am glad with the way this has all played out, and I am enjoying this game a lot so far. Rumours that we have only created this team to head off the rumoured creation of a Fool's Guild team are foolish I made that up myself as was shown by the way we played in our first match. There is no way the Fools could have matched such a performance especially not after some of the lads ran into them behind Scurvy Johnson's Tannery don't put that in Harry.

J. H. Boggis (Mr)
Dictated to Harry ('Can't Remember His Nickname') Jones, Guild Secretary”