“Ruth, 14 Zombie
"Well that was simple enough. After the first drive, I told the coach to pull me out, because I showed them all they needed to see to not lose. They still suck too much to win, but at least I made them not lose. Of course, after the demoralization the Outlaws had when they saw me on the pitch it was a forgone conclusion that they would not win. My plan comes together nicely."
Furrball in Tights, 14 Werewolf
"Awwooo! I fairly caught Zek's arm. That's what he Awoo-ooo-oo...meant, right? Awwooo!"
Pruned Pole Dancer, 14 Zombie
"God, what a bunch of cheats. They poison some meat, knocking Dancing Dog out for the rest of the game, False start to catch their own kick off, and I dont even know what that was where they scored their second TD. Plus I think they were using some sort of force field that let them dodge anything from anywhere at any time. Total cheats! Good thing Fluffer and Furrball stole their tech."
Policeman Fabulous, 14 Zombie
"Oh my God! I love playing against Elves, especially Dark Elves, their Emo-Goth dress up is sooo fabulous, it makes me moist just thinking about it. Ouh! *fans self* I was hoping we could get another playmate...I mean...team mate like Ruth from the match, but unfortunately not, so I'll just have to go comfort the casualties. That Zekiel guy has a bum arm, so he cant push me away like last time. Hugs and Kisses girlfriend! *prances off*"”
“"I was looking up at the sky to catch our own kick-off in my hands deep in 14/2s half. I think I looked up one second too long because that arm-breaking tackle came out of nowhere. I swear I yelled Fair Catch. Has no-one explained to the Werewolf what a fair catch is? Ouch, my arm."
---Zekiel Sky, Dark Age Blitzer
"Furrbie made the difference tonight. By precisely following Ruths instructions, I have no doubt. He saved the day, or rather the night for his team with that unbelievable play at the end of the second half. Next time I'll bring silver bullets."
---Gunn, Dark Age Lineboy
"I AM LEGEND. Okay, not quite, but getting there. If you had told me twenty-six games ago that a hard kick to the groin would catapult me to stardom, I'd laughed at you together with my harem of girls. Having my lower regions put out of action was the best thing to ever happen to me! It forced me to concentrate on training and put all my testosterone into that. And now you see the results: I'm the best I've ever been. And the best I've ever been is the best you've ever seen. I'm lean, I'm mean and my libido remains a has-been."
---Jaymez, Dark Age Lineboy
"Right, you heard the man. New training excercise: You're all getting kicked in the groin until you start winning again. Two draws against inferior teams. Unacceptable! All line up now, I'm going to go and get my steel-toed boot."
---Chasm Dark, Dark Age Blitzer
"I AM LEGEND! ... No really. Touchdown, baby! Anyone can become a star, but there's only one Starrrrrrrr."
---Starr, Dark Age Lineboy”
Click on the charts to toggle relative statistics.
"Well that was simple enough. After the first drive, I told the coach to pull me out, because I showed them all they needed to see to not lose. They still suck too much to win, but at least I made them not lose. Of course, after the demoralization the Outlaws had when they saw me on the pitch it was a forgone conclusion that they would not win. My plan comes together nicely."
Furrball in Tights, 14 Werewolf
"Awwooo! I fairly caught Zek's arm. That's what he Awoo-ooo-oo...meant, right? Awwooo!"
Pruned Pole Dancer, 14 Zombie
"God, what a bunch of cheats. They poison some meat, knocking Dancing Dog out for the rest of the game, False start to catch their own kick off, and I dont even know what that was where they scored their second TD. Plus I think they were using some sort of force field that let them dodge anything from anywhere at any time. Total cheats! Good thing Fluffer and Furrball stole their tech."
Policeman Fabulous, 14 Zombie
"Oh my God! I love playing against Elves, especially Dark Elves, their Emo-Goth dress up is sooo fabulous, it makes me moist just thinking about it. Ouh! *fans self* I was hoping we could get another playmate...I mean...team mate like Ruth from the match, but unfortunately not, so I'll just have to go comfort the casualties. That Zekiel guy has a bum arm, so he cant push me away like last time. Hugs and Kisses girlfriend! *prances off*"”