“Pretty good results, for having 0% luck. But, honestly the actual luck wasn't that far off. On either side.

There is a certain strategy that you come to expect when playing against an Undead team (advancing cage) and that is the beauty of Kick. With Kick you can place that ball in a position that allows penetration before Undead can cage up, and possibly forcing them to play "Catch up" rather than clock control.

So you can imagine my dismay when the first kick-off of the game ended up in a touchback for Old Folks Home.

"I left the stadium before I even found my seat." Said one of the many Completely Worthless fans that left before Old Folks Home even retrieved the ball.

Coach Pardus marched his wall of undead forward with military precision. One had to wonder if they even saw the elves that were thrown out of thier way on thier march up the field, if they did it certainly didn't effect thier formation or thier slow march. The fearful Elves just dove to the turf rather than face the onslaught that Old Folks put in front of them.

"You better better get your ****ing **** in there you *****ing ****s, because whatever you ****s think those ****ing ****s are going to ****ing do to you, you have a lot ****ing worse ****ing things **** coming to you ****s if you don't ****ing get that ****ing ball." Screamed Asperon Thorn, uncharacteristicly, just as Can't GFI was sent to the bench badly hurt. Asperon Thorn normally shows a cool calmness, despite his teams pathetic record.

Well it seemed to work, Completely Worhtless threw themselves at the Undead with renewed fervor, certainly no more effective than before, but it certainly looked good. And just as Old Folks was preparing to set up on the Goal line for the final turns of the half, a wight's leg came RIGHT OFF!! He was attempting to get a little extra distance. He sat down to try and re-attach it. But this left Old Folks in a precarious position late in the half.

Old Folks Home had a huge cage, surrounding thier ball Carrier and one prone elf, PLAIN CRAP!! She Jumped Up and knocked the ball away from the ball carrier, giving hope to a heavily bashed team. She failed to grab the ball, but this whole predicament completely confused the Corpses, and they were unable to score by the end of the half.

Completely Worthless recieved the kick off, and began to execute thier well rehearsed touchdown drill. Except the simplest pass was dropped. Fortunately there were enough elves around to prevent the ball to fall into rotting hands, and they completed the play without hesitation, resulting in the first touchdown, but leaving plenty of time for tie.

But, Asperon Thorn wasn't about to allow thier one lucky break fall out of grasp and called for a shallow kick, and a blitz. A blitz by Plain Crap, managed to throw a wight off the sideline, allowing Can't Blitz to recover the ball, and before their decaying brains could register what had happened, Old Folks Home was on defense once again. Minutes wore on with an intense sideline battle that was absolutely riddled with failures on both sides. (Suprisingly, nobody was thrown to the crowd).

In a daring display of reliance on the crowd, Completely worhless knocked the ball off the sideline, and was rewarded by having the ball thrown into the center of the field, where 3 elves waited for recovery. Unfortantely, with time tight, and a botched hand-off, the elves were unable to convert thier good fortune into a TD.

"It was a tough game," Asperon Thorn commented, at game's end. "Coach Pardus knew what he was doing, and the game could have gone the other way just as easily. We will remember this opponent for the future."”