“Well, at the risk of sounding like a big girl's blouse, we went into this one giving up two handicaps (Halfing Torn was doped up and they apparently took a collection pre-game to bribe the ref), probably losing all (both) of our re-rolls and facing the star player who puts the BIG in Big Guy. Plus the opposition is coached by a guy who'd eat a homeless guy on a dare and who once scissor-kicked Angela Landsbury. On the other hand the match-up was every cherry-picker's wet dream: Dorfs vs. Flings. So we were cautiously optimistic as we took the field, playing a few slices of 'Sweet Potato Pie' to draw the little fat guys out.

We kicked off and quite a number of the Flings who'd set up on the LOS began pounding on us. It was a little surprising but we frankly preferred they slap us around rather than the Treemen and could only hope they'd line up this way on defense as well (they didn't). One of the fat guys (Torn probably) grabbed the ball and, after we got a few players behind his line, headed for the safety of his comrades like a fat girl for an ice cream shoppe. Hobgoblin Elwood Blues, however, spotted a flaw in the Halfling's defense and exploited it, giving Fling Jammed the 'Soul Finger', blocking him into his friends (and into the BH box), which in turn popped the ball carrier out into the waiting arms of CD Blocker Junior Wells who laid the smack down on him and took the ball away like, well, taking a ball away from a Halfling. CD Blocker Popa Chubby wanted in on the action as well and, yelling 'It's Chubby Time!', sent Halfling Romped to the BH box to keep his friend company. Deeproot Strongbranch promptly stunned Junior, knocking the ball loose again but before the Wasted Pitch Fodder could capitalize on this, Halfling Crunchy stunned himself dodging away from the scrum, causing a turnover. Bull Centaur B.B. King came charging in, knocking Halfling Sploosh aside and trying to pick up the ball. You can probably guess about how well that worked and the ball went careening off again. Hopped up on agility enhancing drugs, Halfling Torn blitzed CD Blocker Stevie Ray Vaughn away and grabbed the ball. Unfortunately for him he had nowhere left to run and Stevie showed him how a 'Good Texan' returns a hit, sending him to the KO box to enjoy his drugs for the rest of the game. Hobgoblin 'Joliet' Jake Blues grabbed the ball and headed down field under the protection of our Bull Centaurs while Popa Chubby and Stevie Ray Vaughn, respectively, sent Halflings Smooshy and Sploosh to the BH box. While he wanted to try handing off to Bull Centaur B.B. King, it was turn 8 and we had no re-rolls so Jake did the 'Boogie Thing' and crossed into the end zone himself.

Beginning of the second half we received and, after a bad kick, handed the ball to the Boogie Man himself, Bull Centaur John Lee Hooker who proceeded down field under the protection mostly of our Hobgoblins. As John Lee got into scoring range Deeproot Strongbranch, showing exceptional mobility for a tree, managed to get a tackle zone on him. We surrounded the Treeman with all unmarked players but Hooker found himself an assist short of a two-die block to blitz away. B.B. King tried to free up a Hobgoblin to join the fun but only managed to push the guarding fling so, finally, Jake used that Dodge skill we bought him after the last game and pulled away from his guard to sneak in and provide the needed assist. Not one to waste an opportunity, John Lee blitzed Strongbranch and ended up with a pushback, useless against the Treeman. Out of options, Hooker said, 'Ain't No Big Thing' and dodged away from the Treeman, made two GFI's and boogied on into the end zone for our second touchdown.

The next drive resulted in a comedy of errors for the Fodder. Halfling Wiggly picked up the ball and then BH himself on a GFI. After we put some tacklezones on it, Rippy picked it up only to KO himself dodging away. 'Joliet' Jake finally picked it up and, pursued by dodging and flying Flings, headed for the end zone with the bull centaurs and his brother Elwood. The Halflings surrounded Jake but we never really intended to score with him anyway. Trying to clear out a couple of opponents before the hand-off, John Lee Hooker proved he's no 'Peace Lovin' Man', SIing Halfling Boing, smashing his ankle (which the apothecary took care of), on a both down block, blowing our chance to try and hand-off that turn. The next turn was turn 8 and, knowing it was now or never, Jake handed off to B.B. King but, proving 'Everything I Do Is Wrong', butter hooves dropped the ball and failed to score.

We only skilled up one player this game but it was a big one as Bull Centaur John Lee Hooker joined Hobgoblin T-Bone Walker in the +AG club. We also raised enough cash to buy another player and would like to welcome '300 Pounds of Joy', our new Troll Howlin' Wolf, to our little jam session.

Next, Orcs!”