“BERU Test Report

It is a sad state of affairs that brings me to this conclusion: “it is rare these days that it is a good day to be dead.”

This however was not the case yesterday as Real Sociedead played Tottering Hotspurs in the first round of the OBBA Cup.

Real, ever the proverbial under achievers in this tournament are keen to put in a good effort this time, so clearly outclassed by Tottering, Real boldly dipped into their meagre savings and hired the Count. With that they were ready to take to the field.

Real elected to receive a deep kick first whilst Tottering cleverly reorganised their defence, steering clear of the Mummies. With their opening somewhat spoilt it was left to the boot of Ion Txoperna Garcia to send a rookie lino to the BH box… the game had begun.


The awe inspiring, Mummy-esque, Paul "5-Bellies" Gascoigne suddenly charged towards one of Real’s Mummys… a single blow sending the Mummy into the badly hurt bin without regen, and before he’d thrown a single block… an all new record in utter Mummy incompetence for Real.

Somewhat shaken, Real manoeuvred to the flank. A blitz from a more junior player was just as devastating, this time seriously injuring a Wight, who thankfully regenerated.

Real had however managed to lure some of Tottering’s players to the sidelines and were able to pin them in, the threat of a surf enough for them to stay down and effectively even the odds.

Paul "5-Bellies" Gascoigne charged again… this time Mummy, Claudio Andres Bravo Munoz was seriously injured and out for this and the next game! This one man team wrecking machine continued to them hide amongst his comrades preventing Real from tying him down.

Inside the opening quarter Real had lost both Mummies for the game and a Wight for the drive… things looked bleak, but team captain, Karla Larburu, ensured the Count that he could carry him through, and did just that. Aided by a single Wight and Zombie, Karla found a way through the Human defence to get the count the level of protection he needed from Tottering, aka, Gazza, for a perfectly timed late score!

1 – 0

After a close but thankfully failed OTS attempt, Real were pleased to have the lead, even with only 10 men on the field.

Tottering held the ball deep whilst sending a single catcher, unaided, into the Real half. The Real coaching staff burst into fits of laughter, a little too old in the tooth for that one. Real elected to start harassing the Tottering front line, but were quickly reduced to a mere 8 men. Real reacted, KOing their Ogre with another boot, and still maintained their line, leaving the catcher open. With time ticking away, and their core still held deep Tottering took the pass for an easy score keen to win in normal time, much to the dwindling bench of Real’s pleasure.

1 – 1

With more than a quarter left, and Karla Larburu and the Count still in attendance, a win was yet possible. Real setup thinly ready to receive then… BLITZ. Tottering’s defence were certainly on form today, quick to react on all kick offs. They stormed a blitzer through but stood him short of where the ball would fall and moved in, ready to capitalise.

Real spotted a Tottering Blitzer by the flank, and pushed him into position to surf, hoping to draw some of his team’s mates to assist, whilst the core of the team concentrated toward the other flank.

Tottering did indeed commit to the task of preventing the surf as Real advanced the ball with the Count.

Karla again led the Count into the Tottering half, whilst Zombies finally got the opportunity to tie Paul "5-Bellies" Gascoigne down and remove the threat. Even still, Tottering got players to the Count to harass him, but a defensive error left the Count with an easy escape, and with a Zombie and Karla screen ultimately the winning score!

2 – 1

Against the odds, with the awesome Count, Real had managed to achieve what they had done all season, an effective Mummyless result to see them into round two!

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Was a very tough game, and a frustrating one really, as my players had one of those “Paper Mache armour days” and the kickoffs went against me. Robbo at one point commented that I got a lot of stuns... which I laughed at when I looked at 3 CAS and 3 KOs at the time. :P

Reduced to just two key players, of course the Count can make up for anything, and he really had to this game, I managed to scrape the win as the dice hadn’t abandoned me (No snakes for the Count at those crucial times).

If Robbo had done perhaps a few key things differently, it’s likely the outcome wouldn’t have been the same. Gazza later aged a niggle… which is a shame for Robbo.

GG Robbo44

Tough second round game at a TS of 135, still with cash for the Count, but knowing I’ll need it for the third round more, and also with a Mummy down.

Onwards and Upwards!
”