“Midgard's very earth shakes as the Ulfwerners take the field! And barrels of beer, too! Yes! Many!

*Burping noise*

That's the cursed spawn of the serpent Jörmungandr we face today! All ready and singing our battle songs we're here. And they are not! Because some of them get struck by a sudden mighty constipation! Such is the mischievousness of the hand of Loki against them.

*Coach Babau turns red and hides a strange flask labelled "Morley's Elixir" behind his back*

And so we begin the fight, singing our battle hymns. And lo! So loud we sang that we couldn't hear our coach's orders. And so the first half flashes away and we suddenly are in the second and down 1-0.

This is when our coach begins to turn red on the face and start talking funny things about getting medieval on our sorry arses. And this is when it dawns on us that maybe is the case to actually try playing the game rather than singing silly songs.

*Burping noise*

The Ulfwerners won't be shamed. Not on this day.

Biôrnólfr Ulfwerner faces the hulking saurus Andromeda and stands still. With the help of team mates Olaf Ironfundersson and Fálki Neikkoran he smashes his neck and takes his skull as a trophy. And lightning fast runs Neiikoran and scores for the draw!

*Hiccup!*

And again the lizards field their team. No more constipation now but they're still down on numbers for there are wounded amongst them. Still, the strength of Jörmungandr is with them and as we steal the ball from them they manage to put us in a dire predicament with our catcher down in the last turn.

There's when the Gods come to us. The favor of Odin, the strength of Thor... and the frantic orders from our coach.

Here comes Guðmundr Ulfwerner to hand off the ball to Thrower Unnr Sturluson. Here waits catcher Egill Gunnarson, on the endzone, after being freed from the enemy cage by a friendly blitz. Here is the ball flying on the sky.

Touchdown!

*HUGE burping noise*

Lo, a mighty victory! We'll do a great feast this night! And the women will praise us and our fame will spread and our Fan Factor will rise! And the spawn of Jörmungandr will go home in shame and disband! And..

..and barrels of beer! Yes! Many!
________________________________________________________________

Congrats to Kampilhakis for a hard match in the face of overwhelming odds. He got the only handicap a beginner team should NEVER face (Morley's revenge) and despite the numerical disadvantage he fought to the end and nearly secured a draw. A win, this one, that I feel I don't entirely deserve.

Rematch anytime.”