“Excerpt from Lord Catatonia’s bestselling account of his tortuous expedition into the withered lands, “Groping the Void”:

“Dwarves of course, are rather dour and in no small measure annoying. Most of them smell, which in fairness gives little to choose twixt them and the goatmen, and they all sport beards, though goatmen additionally have beards, and they all like alcohol. Now the goatly beasts also like getting inebriated, but truth be told, no-one enjoys the fermented goats-milk which they seem near-forced to imbibe. Least of all me. And so when a squad of lairy drunken midgets waddled through the mists into our zone d’influence, I accosted them for their travelling bar supplies. With them I set about making the ultimate cocktail.

To start with I located a thick custard-like egg and brandy liqueur made, seemingly, by Warlocks. To this I muddled crème de menthe, a squirt of quadruple-sec and a measure of Kislev gut-rot potato-vodka. I then captured a tiny green fairy and drowned the bitch in a distillation of fermented wyrmwood and swirled this into the mixture. I shook this over ice crushed by the mailed glove of an angry dwarve (Clover had stood on his foot) and poured the result into a highball glass (I had prepared the glass by frosting the rim with crushed glass) and garnished with an olive, a pearl onion and an acai berry, all skewered on a miniature umbrella. My creation was complete. I served them until we were barely sober enough to stand, after which we walked onto the pitch and lost 1-0. Wyrm is so hungover I fear he will be unable to play for a while. Dale the Brewer, with professional curiosity, inquired as to the name of this new cocktail. “It’s a Devil’s Advocaat…”…”
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