“MIB received their mission order, for the first time they were to face Dwarves.

Everything started badly and got worse. The start of the game consisted of an Agent being carried off injured, followed by early attempts at the ball failing before they began, with an inanabilty to make simple dodges.

The dwarves did what they do best, which is being mind numbingly boring, taking 4 minutes to the second every single turn and slowly marching along, to score T8, 0-1.

The second half started as badly as the first had ended, with a Field Agent only needing to leap then dodge to get the ball out of sight, they managed to fail, leaving the ball open for the dwarves. Even after getting a hit on a badly positioned dwarf, the ball scattered (rather than out of bounds) through a few bodies and was collected by a Dwarf, who then (slowly) went on again 0-2.

Agent U was sadly slain, although reports coming in to be validated suggested he topped himself rather than continue with the drudgery of this spectacular grind fest. Although there are plans to use a replay of the mission as a form of torture of captured enemy spies.

After the mission Agent P joined the Agency, which is helpful, because if he had applied before the mission, or seen the epic failure on show, he might have taken the job as a postman.”