“It was a glorious day. The first game for Jemy and what a game it was to become! The noble high elfs of Farmoteam vs the bad smelling and bad tempered orcs of Texas Roadkill.

Right from the start coach Sulidamor led his elfs on a brilliant and wellplanned offensive that gave them the lead early on in the first half.

During this first drive forward, Zamarro and Pillo of Farmoteam both got knocked out by lineman Tokbrain Rumblebelly of Texas Roadkill. But that was all the orcs could do, and it was not enough to stop Farmoteam´s young talent Rinco from scoring his first touchdown by turn 3.

But now, as mumbled by rookie coach Jemy, during the short pause, it was Texas Roadkill`s turn...

Humiliated, angry and still smelling quite badly, the orcs took to the field, eager for revenge.

When the ball landed in the backfield of the orcs Grimwold Rock, one of the two brothers who play on Texas Roadkill, picked up the ball and with a shout of WAAAGH!!! Started the unrelentless drive forward.

During this drive Farmoteams Pillo, who had recovered from the knock to his head earlier and no doubt looking for a bit of revenge on his own, managed to seriously injure lineman Barmy Army. His fellow orc teammates found it absolutely hilarious when Pillo went for a kick towards the lower part of Barmy´s anatomy and managed to miss both his legs and instead hit something else. We all did laugh at the noise Barmy Army made after the kick had made impact and he lay crying on the ground.

As the drive ground down to a brawl, the orcs gained the upper hand and black orc blocker, and inccidently also the owner of the largest collection of cuddly teddy bears in the whole region of lower Uncton, Tailwort Headstompa, did seriously hurt elf lineman Zighi.
Merriment and laughter was afloat among the orcs again.

Trukk Rock, the other brother to play in the blitzing position on Texas Roadkill seriously hurt lion warrior Rinco, who had only moments ago made the first touchdown of his career. I am unsure revenge was the reason behind this action as Trukk seemed to slam everyone and everthing he got even remotely close to this game.

Grimwold handed the ball to his very eager brother who did run it to the endzone for a touchdown in turn 8.

End of first half. Score 1-1.


The Texas Roadkill was on the receiving side as the teams set up, and just as in the last drive Grimwold picked up the ball to start the drive.

The elfs, no doubt reacting to beeing three players down and facing what can best be described as large green, screaming, foul stenching, angry wall of orcs, made a wise tactical retreat afew paces towards their own end zone.

The orcs advance upon Farmoteam in a formation described to us after the game by coach Jemy as "The large, open, improvised and not at all that effective cage". She later added "Well it worked so I must be brilliant right?". Wise words indeed, by a clearly brilliant coach.

Atleast thats what Im going to say as Jemy has generously ordered black orc Krudd Facebasha to stand ominously behind my back and assist me with spelling today.

What followed was a spendid display of elfish bravery as they charged the cage and were battered back again and again. Pillo, who had been knocked out the first half of the game, was now badly hurt by Trukk. And Phoenix warrior Santo was knocked out by Tokbrain Rumblebelly.

The drive could have ended very badly for the Texas Roadkill as Trukk was wide open and could have faced a block from two players, but Nuffle was with him as dragon warrior Ganzo failed while going for it and went down in the turf.
Trukk was able to end the drive with a touchdown in turn 15.

The umpire decided for extra time to be played and Farmoteams Ganzo made a lovely last minute dash for the end zone to tie the game up 2-2.

And so ended the first game for young rookie coach Jemy. And what did she have to say on the matter?
"Oi, Krudd!!! Get over here!!! Keep an eye on this one and snap his neck if he puts one bad word about me in that report"

Thats it for me, Howard Handpuppy, reporting live from Roadkill arena, lower Uncton.




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