“Oy. So I quickly jumped to a 2-0 lead in the first half thanks to some rotten luck for my opponent, who ended up rolling 4 ones in a row during a single turn.

He received the kickoff in the second half and began to march downfield, but disaster struck again and I was able to recover the ball. During turn five I moved the ball into a cage and protected it. I had every intention to try and score the next turn because I am a terrible coach who only worries about the moment but... My caging up caused him to say "If you stall then I'm going to foul because they are both legitimate tactics."

This is a true statement, and I was okay with the idea. My team logo, after all, is a big sign that reads "KILL US PLEASE". Now I have to stall on principle. He continued to get frustrated, and made no attempt at all to break or even harass the cage. He asked me why I was stalling.

And here is the part I regret. I say "Because sometimes people roll four ones in a row." I think about why I would stall if I was stalling for a good reason and explain that two TDs is not a comfortable lead against a Wood Elf team. The game before this one (Hi, Synn) almost featured an OTS by a Bull Centaur. On turn seven I decide to go ahead and score. I roll snake eyes and fumble the ball. I get it back on turn eight, and I misfire a pass on some more ones. I never did get that third score, but I made a compelling case for stalling.

I learned a lot in this game, and I thank my opponent for the well-fought battle. Just remember, though, that while stalling takes some time to think of reasons why, fouling is always awesome. There is no green flag in the race to the coffin.”