“Coming off the back of a 10 game losing streak and havng played only 10 games, the Blue Mountain Mooners and Coach ESA could not have been more hopeful of breaking their duck against a Chainsaw team that could only field 7 players at the start of the game. But when their backs are against the wall, is when the real Team Chainsaw comes out.

Before the kick had even landed, there was a Mooners' player in the KO box and another stunned. With black orc Biffa occupying 3 linemen all on his own, the numerical advantage was gone and what most commentators saw as a walkover was, all of a sudden, competitive! Curator despatched an opponent black orc into the injury box, Biffa knocked out another, and a shell shocked Blue Mountain Mooners could not contain the offensive drive.

Lucky, heavily marked and targeted all match after calling the daughter of a Mooners' player Sonney Notringer "pretty", looked set to take advantage of his unflappable nature by receiving a pass and slipping away to score. Dino sped forward, pulled back the trigger, launched the ball at Lucky, and lodged it in the mouth of a surprised Sonney Notringer. The crowd cheered and half time arrived with no score.

The stadium started to empty soon after the break, with a lack of injuries (or action in general!) disappointing both sets of fans. Whatever the coaches had said at half time failed to work as two sets of confused players bumbled around almost aimlessly before the ball broke to Dino who managed to guess the right direction to run and score the only and winning touchdown.

Later this reporter would learn that the local swamp had been rinsed out by a flood and the teams were given sparkling clean spring water for their half time refreshments. This had a very unsettling effect on the orcs and was behind their bizarre performances on the field as they ran around in a daze caused by the purity of the water. The good news is that the blood of the creatures who procured the spring water will be in the refreshment barrel for the next match.”