“On a glorious day the Nard Harpies and Skritzers Squeeelers take to the field in front of 60,000 adoring fans screaming for blood. Both teams have come off impressive wins suffering no casualties. Nukb Madbone sits the game out due to his niggling injury that the apothecary is not allowed treat.

The Ogres take to the field preparing to kick to the Skaven. As the ball arcs through the air and all eyes are following its trajectory, the Skaven quietly snatch the ref from the field and replace him with their own biased ref. The ball bounces well for the Skaven and lands near the line of scrimage down the left side. But the Rat Ogre Montgomery Burns keen to make an impact knocks himself down trying to block an Ogre. The Nard Harpies quick to capitalize on the error put a number of Ogre tackle zones around the ball and then Bums Boneeye runs in scoops up the ball and hides within the cage. Xtag Greatbone seeing his opportunity to redeem himself this season runs over and gives the Skaven Rat Ogre Montgomery Burns the boot badly hurting him, but the Skaven apothecary is called to patch him and keep him on the field.

The Skaven start going into damage control and the Rat Ogre pissed off from the boot blitzes Zaphod Vanx knocking him out in a frenzy. The Skaven start putting pressure on the cage busting open one corner putting pressure on Bums Boneeye. The Ogres reform the cage but can’t get rid of Skitz the blitz who stays in tackling distance of Bums Boneeye. Numnut Koosar stupidly runs through the tackle zone of Q’harr Zob and gets slammed to the ground. Skitz the blitz gets pummeled around the cage like punching bag until Bums Boneeye shows how it’s done, knocking out the Skaven Gutter Runner.

The Rat Ogre seeing red runs in and blitzes Librux Kromprii and busting open the corner of the cage again. Gutter Runner Cloat the Loafhead smashes Mkox Greathacker badly hurting him and sending him to the side lines for the remainder of the match. With the cage breached and the Nard Harpies under pressure, there was only one thing to do in this situation, THROW TEAM MATE! Qwez Ednax picks up Bums Boneeye and pitches him down the field landing squarely on this feet running his second touchdown of his career.

The next drive sees the Nard Harpies setting up a perfect defense, putting pressure on Skritzers Squeeelers. The ball is picked up and passed to the Luke the Fluke who blitzes Ogre Q’harr Zob who lays stunned on the ground, and then carries on running down field with the Skaven end zone in sight. Librux Kromprii blitzes the Gutter Runner knocking him down with the ball landing near the side lines. Then Mexogd Evilclaw dodges out of a tackle zone and runs in grabbing the ball. Xtag Greatbone seeing that Luke the Fluke has an opportunity at Mexogd Evilclaw runs over the stomps on the Gutter Runners head fracturing his skull and sending him to the sidelines. The Skaven once again go into damage control getting players around the goblin ball carrier with Storm Vermin Girtak Bors smashes Bums Boneeeye knocking him out. Koosy Koosar attempts to foul but gets caught on a tackle as he tries to run past Keng Dreadhunter. Mexogd Evilclaw slips past both Gutter Runner and Line Rat passes long to Keng Dreadhunter, but the goblin can’t catch the pass and it scatters behind two Skaven Line Rats. Cloaf the Loafhead runs through Ogre tackle zones in complete disregard, scoops up the ball but fumbles the pass with the ball scattering near G’kar Tencle. The Nard Harpies run to cover the ball as much as possible knowing too well the Skaven can still score. Unfortunately Cloaf the Loafhead tries to pick the ball up among all the tackle zones and is knocked down in the process, with the ball landing into the hands of Keng Dreadhunter. The Ogres smash a couple of Line Rats around, but cannot cause any casualties and the attempt to throw Keng Dreadhunter down field fails dismally knocking him out. First half ends 1 - 0 in favor of the Nard Harpies.

The Skaven start off badly kicking the ball causing a touch back and the ball given to Mexogd Evilclaw. A cage is formed with an Ogre frontend and a goblin backend and the Ogres go on the rampage, knock down rats with stuns. But the big hit is still yet to come with Librux Kromprii smashing the Rat Ogre Montgomery Burns to his death. The Skaven are a little scattered but still open up the cage with a Gutter Runner blitzing a goblin pushing him back, but Vogal Koosar knocks himself down tripping on his own tail.

The Ogres reform the cage but can’t get it moving forward and a shocking block from Q’harr Zob opens up a corner of the cage. The Skaven get rats up and around the cage knocking down Ogres and putting more and more pressure on the Ogres. This time the Ogres go into damage control just getting the cage reformed but not without danger as the Skaven continue to surround it. The comes under huge pressure from the Skaven as the rats bust it open and get tackle zones on the goblin ball carrier Mexogd Evilclaw. But as the Ogres try to reclaim some ground G’krepp Frib kills steroid eating Skaven rat Koosy Koosar.

Skritzers Squeeelers not fazed by the deaths of two vital players once again crunch the cage and this time sack the goblin ball carrier with the ball scattering in their favor and Mick the Mouser easily snatches the ball and quickly makes off with it but trips on his tail with the ball scattering. The Nard Harpies always quick to pounce on the Skaven bad luck get G’kar Tencle near the ball and then Bums Boneeye sneaks out of tackle zones and picks up the ball hiding next to the Ogre.

The Skaven scramble getting players easily down and around the ball carrier and lone Gutter Runner Mick the Mouser sacks Bums Boneeye but fails to pick up the ball. But G’kar Tencle fails to smash Mick the Mouser knocking himself down in the process. Mick the Mouser wastes no time grabbing the ball and running straight for the Skaven end zone. The Ogres seeing that there is no way to get anyone near Mick the Mouser attempt another throw team mate play in order to blitz the Gutter Runner. Xhi A’kan’tl picks up Mexogd Evilclaw but in his excitement of his first throw team throwing crushes the poor goblin killing him.

In the end Mick the Mouser runs in the touchdown in complete safety in the dying moments of the game. The Nard Harpies get no money in the coffers after paying player costs and funeral costs for Mexogd Evilclaw, though the fan recruitment were able attract new fans with the prospect of more blood and more throw team mate touchdowns.

Great game skritter, sorry the remainder of the season is going to be an uphill battle after losing some vital players.

3 votes: #3 Skitz the blitz – 3 huge 3d Ogre hits could not bring this little Gutter Runner down. (The 4th did though).
2 votes: #4 Mick the Mouser – Made a nuisance of himself around the cage and when the ball sprung free.
1 vote: #2 Cloaf the Loafhead – Another GR who made things difficult for the Ogre cage.”