“Report for the first game my friends and I have ever played together on Fumbbl: As usual, it was an expert lesson of pain. Geldart got knocked out on the first block of the game, which may be expected of him, but I would have expected better of Woody the Black Belt. His fighting skills may be good but, as we found out on the second block, his chin is rubbish. The game got better from then on, as we gave a lesson in how to run around the pitch like loons looking over our shoulders at the minotaur chasing us, while the other team took their time with scoring. On the next kick off, which we started with about 5 players, I showed everyone how not to pick up the ball, and a swift kicking ensued which saw a couple of others fall to non permanent injuries. The second half saw us receive the ball with about 5 players again, and around 5 different players saw in the next kick off. Raz managed to use his secret Ninja powers to resurect himself, Jon decided to take a rest from the game and the next one, Neil injured himself and Mark is currently hiding in the staff toilets, smoking a fag which will last all the way through the next game. Henry did nothing much, and Pockets managed to get all the glory for no reason at all. Dave the Barman decided, in the last moments of the match, to stick his hand in the minotaurs mouth in much the same spirit as soldiers in the trenches shot themselves in the leg.

Still, at least we managed to throw the ball about a bit. After I showed you how to pick the ball up properly.

Incidentally, for speccing the game and cheering at every injury, Neil is going to be left in the open for a good kicking in the next match.”