“I hate elves.

I hate them.

I hate their little pointy ears.

I hate their little pointy noses.

I hate their little pointy boots.

I hate th... do they have pointy toes? I bet they do. I hate their little point toes.

I hate their shiny golden hair.

I hate the way they twat about instead of getting stuck in.

I hate how they can dodge past three players for a TD.

I hate how the buggers refused to get hurt despite me putting them on their arses for the whole game.

I hate their little pointy houses.

Do they have pets? I bet they do. I hate their little pointy pets.

I hate the way I bundle their little pointy passer to the ground with a great big ogre, leaving the ball unattended on the ground deep in their half, but one of the other pointy gits just twirls in and the ball is back in my half before I know it.

I hate their little pointy, pointy things that they have. You know, those things with points on that are really pointy. I hate them.

"Oh Pointy bird, pointy, pointy. Anoint my head, anointy, nointy." That is something an elf would say. I hate something that an elf would say, especially a pointy elf, which is all of them.

If I get one comment asking me what the point is, I will kill you all with a definitively non-pointy blunt instrument. I would like to beat you to death with the wet end of a decapitated elf-head, but elf-heads are, as I am sure you have already surmised, pointy, not blunt. What I will do is cut an elf leg off, sand down all the points using an industrial sander, and then beat you to death with that. THAT'S WHAT THE POINT IS.

Oh, and that I hate pointy little pointy-faced elf-y pointy buggers.”