“A hard match to report on as the coverage was plagued by interruptions in the BBTV service. The Red Star Strikers were pumped for Season XXX, feeling that they were much more experienced and prepared than they were for their moderately succesful Season XXIX. They were also happy to be playing Conference newcomers in the United Abominations. The Abominations won the toss, but it was their only bit of luck pre-match as their star Rotter, Blackbart, was forced to miss with a recurrence of an old injury.

The Abominations charged forward early, but a mistake allowed the Strikers to encircle Stillborn, their Beastman carrying the ball. The Rotters, however, managed to smash their way into the pack, thereby pushing Stillborn out of it. Stillborn was able to look over his shoulder at the Dwarves chasing him and run in a quick touchdown. He must have been relieved to score, but more relieved to get out of the middle of the five Dwarves! The crowd thought he was a dead man, or beast, or beastman...

On th restart it was Klaus Fuchs who picked up the ball and ran with it, protected by teammates until the end. The crowd thought one of the beasts might chase him down, but in an unusual ploy, it was Burton, the big Beast, who chased down Fuchs. Fuchs tried in vain to get away but Burton's tentacles were able to keep him close by. The big fella couldn't knock down Fuchs though, and quickly Ho Chi Minh and Vladimir Lenin were on hand to free Fuchs by smashing the Beast to the ground. Halftime and the scores were deadlocked at 1-1. Both sides were sore at half time, with Mao to miss next week for the Strikers whilst Stillborn was smashed into the Reds' section of the crowd who didn't appreciate his earlier touchdown and crippled him, likely robbing him of his trademark agility. Plenty of Strikers fans reached over to pat Kliment Voroshilov on the back for launching Stillborn into the crowd.

Fuchs again kicked things off in the second half, nailing a pinpoint pass to Vyacheslav Molotov. Lenin and Molotov ran in tandem down the ground, and the Abominations never looked like catching them. Molotov was happy to run down the clock and take the 2-1 win for the Strikers.

Twahnlow Votes
3 - Stillborn

The Strikers' coaching staff are still scratching their heds and trying to figure out how he made the miraculous touchdown, or rather how he escaped death before that!

2 - Burton

The BEast did his job well, and nearly prevented Fuchs from scoring, only to be overwhelmed by strength of numbers.

1 - Longshanks

Scored a casualty very early to send Mao off and reduce the Strikers to twelve. His casualty has to be rated more highly than Right Stuff's, which was in junk time.

(Thanx for the game Dark Lord. It was good to get through after all the connection problems. Good luck for the season and I'll be following Frankencowmustdie's progress very closely.)

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