“Letter from Prince Luthor Maledread to King Orfin Maledread II

Dear Father

Possibly the hardest game in my short bloodbowl career. As you can see from my report Royal Night Guard Targus decided to fall over when a lowly thrall saw fit to lay hands upon him. The Royal Apothecary took one look at the dirt on his skin and walked away - clearly Targus has been tainted. The section of armour around his wound has been cut away to prevent further taint, but this unfortunately leaves Targus without a codpiece and there his is 'running free'. It will be a short while before he becomes less winded enough to play. The apothecary I have had put to death, but not before being impaled alive, set on fire and then made to listen to Wood Elf poetry. Some may think that cruel, but the Wood Elves really are an awful simpering bunch of tree shagging ninnies, as you know.

I suspect you may have had a hand in the unusual problems we had whilst handling the ball. Or not handling the ball, in this case. A number of times we lined up certain score throws only to have them drop at our feet. And in the dying seconds of the game I myself showed uncharacteristic lack of grace by falling into the mud when trying to make a pass easier.

On top of this the Vampire team, whilst not actually containing any Vampires, had brought a dread Vampire Lord along. Thankfully we remembered the stakes you had provided for us. To our dismay we found they were steaks of a different kind, and you'd supplied neither onions nor gravy. And the dog died almost immediately after eating one raising my suspicions about poison...

Indeed, these Thralls were of legendary ability - they dodged better than we did, bashed our faces into the floor slightly better, and even jumped me from behind to render me unconscious for some time. When I got back onto the field the rain had come pouring down, and the game was all but washed out.

However, father. We won, upholding the Maledread family honour. I see in today's Drow Daily Inquisitor that certain...uncompromising artist renditions have been printed of you in indiscreet positions. I'm not sure what you were doing with the goat but for the life of me I didn't think a squirrel would think of making a home where it did. That it was lost, and you now dance like a loon when it moves, and cannot sit down for long, is ... troubling. Get well soon father. Heaven knows what the inquisitor may turn up next.

Your loving (to sit on your throne and see you cast into a swamp) son

Luthor

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Fluff aside, we pretty much got our ass kicked in this one - a late cas on a thrall, failed apo on the Block lino, Thralls dodging all over the place, my guys tumbling over (even with dodge) fumbled throws and with a general inability to batter any of the thralls senseless, I'm amazed I won the game. It *should* have been 1-1 save for Finnius seeking to skill up a thrall and hand off into the end zone instead of simply walking 1 more step. Might have seen a different game then.

Anyhow, finally got that second reroll - was a tough choice between another blitzer, a witch, thrower or reroll. Means we're 10 men for next game, and when he comes back he's -av

Line of scrimmage time then Targus! See how long ya last there...

Thx for game Finnius - probably the toughest yet for these Darkies, but for weird reasons :S

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