“The Bokonon boys couldn't pick up the ball, pass it, or dodge for three quarters of the game. It was horrible and I wondered why I was bothering as it just let Urgel run rampant around the pitch and they were happily picking my players off one by one.

And then, right at the death, The Mysterious Nigel somehow managed to pull off a couple of dodges and a blitz on the ball-carrier deep in the opposition half. With support from three others, who successfully dodged away from the scrum and used their greater mobility, the ball was picked up and stalled away from harm. I salvaged a 1-1. Nuffle must have looked down, seen I was still desperately fighting ridiculous odds from the shafting he had been handing out all game, and took pity. Thanks Nuffle, er... I think.”