“MATCH REPORT:

FIRST QUARTER: Snipers 2 - Krazy Krew 0
Doom and gloom over the impending loss seemed to have descended upon the Snipers' team before the match, affecting morale. It wasn't helped by the fact that only injury-free Storm Vermin had been out all night on a bender, forgot that the match was on, and arrived just before the Ref blew the whistle to start the match.

When the players lined up on the field, things looked more hopeful. The Snipers actually had 10 players to field for the match (more than most matches) against (only) 11 fit goblins. And considering many of those gobbos were wielding banned weapons, Coach Brewin knew his best bet was to receive the ball and score fast. The more he scored the more players would be sent off between kickoffs...

It could be said it was somewhat predictable that the fans invaded the pitch as soon as the match began...
But fortunately (unfortunately?) no-one was badly hurt or even knocked out. The three gutter runners on the field teamed up to feed the ball to Dartsy who ran to within sneezing distance of the endzone. Crazy Cutter made a desperate lunge to stop Dartsy (no time to start the chainsaw!) but was unsuccessful and the Snipers scored. -Not that Bang Bang or Robber Gangreen seemed to notice/care, they were too busy throwing bombs and fouling with great results.

The goblin ref saw fit to restrict the Krazy Krew to a single Looney and Fanatic after that, "2 of each iz 1 many" he said, whatever that means... The result being 9 rats faced off against 9 goblins for the next kick off. Krazy Krew received and as Spinning Sazzy did his spinning thing on the line of skirmish, Bang Bang decided to continue where he left off, throwing more bombs. Wilbur caught it though and threw it back over Bang Bang's head at Robber Gangreen who happened to be nearest the ball. In an instant the Snipers swarmed the ball and fed it to Cheeky. Choppy Crackpot blitzed Cheeky with his chainsaw in response and Cheeky was lucky to escape with a stunning. Bang Bang sought to clear all the remaining rats around the spilled ball with a well-placed bomb, but instead Wilbur showed remarkable skills by catching the bomb again and threw it at Choppy's feet, knocking him out. Dartsy ran the ball into the end zone soon after...


SECOND QUARTER: Snipers 3 - Krazy Krew 1
The ref red-carded the remaining players with banned weapons; Sazzy, Choppy and Bang Bang, leaving only 6 goblins to receive the next kick off. Coach Sandman was heard berating his team in the dugout, saying that they were facing an 8-0 loss and sought to inspire his team to glory, or at least levels of "lesser defeat". The fans on both sides felt that they needed express their feelings too and proceeded to invade the pitch a second time. Again no-one was badly hurt and a mob of enraged goblin fans only managed to stun Wilbur as punishment for his bomb-catching ways.

When the dust cleared, Snivelling schizoid picked up the ball and promptly fumbled his pass. Dartsy surged in to grab the ball and despite the efforts of Robber Gangreen and Snivelling schizoid held it. There was a brief interlude as the ref sent off the Krazy Krew's "star" player Napolean Bonehead for fouling, before Dartsy ran in his third touchdown of the match.

Now 9 rats to 5 goblins, Krazy Krew received again and almost like clock-work Nutty Naggle fetched the ball and proceeded to fumble the pass. Five rats surged forward, abandoning thoughts for defense, certain of finishing the half 4-0. But complacency played into the Krew's hands as Dartsy fumbled picking up the ball and no-one had eliminated the threat that Nutty still posed.

Nutty stunned the Snipers, by dodging in and out of tackle zones, grabbing the ball and successfully throwing it to Doolalie Doughnut who was unmarked near the LOS. Doolalie, a goblin in his debut match, took off for the end-zone, but in his excitement forgot that he hadn't tied his shoelaces properly and fell over deep in the Snipers' half. Malcolm tried throw a block against Robber Gangreen to make a gap for a fellow player to recover the ball, but failed miserably. Doolalie couldn't believe his luck... he jumped up, grabbed the ball and sprinted to the limit of his abilities for the end zone. Tears welled in his green eyes as he scored seconds before the ref blew the half time whistle. To score for Da Krazy Krew is an amazing feat enough, to score on his debut match is unheard of!

THIRD QUARTER: Snipers 5 - Krazy Krew 1
With a mere 5 goblins to start the second half, Krazy Krew received with Captain Jellybrains IV fetching the ball (almost fumbling it) and throwing it to Nutty Naggle who charged into the Snipers' half and decided to have a chat with the turf along the way... Dartsy was quick to recover the ball and tried to hand off to Cheeky, but a miscommunication resulted in Dartsy retaining the ball as Cheeky ran the other way into the Krews' defense. Snivelling schizoid failed a desperate doging blitz on Dartsy in response, and Dartsy was able to run the ball to Cheeky who quickly scored.

The next drive began like the last, with Captain Jellybrains IV fetching and passing the ball to Nutty Naggle who made a brave blitz into the Snipers' defense. He was quickly overwhelmed by rats and Shadow recovered the ball and threw it to Dartsy who took off for the end zone... Only Captain Jellybrains IV, a goblin with only 1 ST, had any chance of stopping the touchdown and he produced the play of the match by making a blitz that consisted of two dodges, two go-for-its and then a two-dice-against block on a blodging gutter runner and SUCCEEDING!!! The Krew fans had found a new idol!

Dartsy hit the turf and the ball sailed into the crowdstands where it was caught by a lucky goblin fan who threw it into empty space near the centre of the field. Doolalie pounced on the ball and threw a long pass to the only other goblin standing, Schizoid, but it bounced into the hands of the Snipers' Blitzer In a Teacup instead. In a Teacup ran the ball to Shadow, as Cheeky put Schizoid in hospital and Dartsy stood up and ran into the end zone for the pass. Shadow made the completion and Dartsy got his fourth touchdown of the match.

FOURTH QUARTER: Snipers 7 - Krazy Krew 1
No sooner had the four remaining goblins lined up, when a Skaven fan thought it'd be funny to throw a rock at Captain Jellybrains as he ran to catch the kick-off. Jellybrains, not taking his eye off the ball, didn't see the rock coming... It was a perfect shot that struck him in the temple and split open his jelly brains. Silence descended on the stadium as even the Skaven fans were shocked. Coach Brewin argued with the ref about not being able to use *his* apothecary to save Jellybrains, as the rock-thrower was promptly torn apart by Goblin and Skaven fans alike. In the process of all this calamity, a strange thing began to happen... The fans actually began to develop a sense of comradery, and a lust for *even more* blood to be spilled on the pitch.

Meanwhile the first block the Krew threw ended in disaster and the Snipers were quick to respond... Dartsy grabbed the ball and took for his fifth touchdown, as the Krew were reduced to a single solitary goblin on the field, who lay prone surrounded by five skaven. Wilbur turned to the crowd for their verdict, then shrugged and stuck the boot in, as Dartsy scored again.

For the last drive there was only brave Robber Gangreen, facing off alone against nine skaven. Needless to say it wasn't long before he gone from the field too and it was left to Shadow to stroll the ball in unopposed to finish the match.

Wiped from the field, and thrashed in score, you think the Krew's fans wouldn't have had much to cheer about. But Doolalie Doughnut had achieved the ultimate; scoring in his debut match and lived to tell; and Jellybrains had achieved immortality with one of the most incredible plays the fans had ever seen (shortly before his death), so the fans actually had more to celebrate than usual. *Post-match* destruction and rioting was minimal, instead the stadium was filled with chants of "For Glory!", chants that carried long into the night at the many nearby Underworld bars...”