“Well... in the inaugural game of our season, the amazing and wonderful Bodies Stink tied the despicable and ugly $erious dwarve$, even with the kickoff rolls highly in favor of Bodies Stink, who landed two blitzes. $erious dwarve$ proved the more competent team by delaying a slow first half touchdown, then playing for the tie in the second half with the injury disadvantage.

Casualties dealt out by the stinking mummy corpse of Farrah Fawcett and the dashing Brian Boneyard resulted in a niggling injury for Roofu$. Unfortunately, no enemies were slayed in order to raise new zomboids.

$erious dwarve$ will only have 10 players going into their next match against the Amazonian Uteri, but it will surprise this commentator if those dodging ladies getting past the dwarvish tackles. As far as bad matchups go, that one is the worst.

Bodies Stink eagerly awaits the results of the Neocons vs Gragarian Bashers match. Cheney must pay for Michael Jackson's death!”