“Willys Pollys took to the field for their second game, this time against the Vampires of Rainford. Colcas was confident that his undefeated run against Apollo would continue as both teams were evenly matched. The added spice was provided by the fact Apollo’s wife, 2 children and both of his brothers played for Willys. A family affair indeed.

In a bad start for Rainford, Willys were given an extra reroll and the kick off landed squarely at the feet of “Sandra Lipotrim”. Some decent blocking allowed Willys to form a cage around the ball, a tactic never before employed by Colcas. Colcas then did a “Polly”, and ordered “Leonster” to pass the ball out of the cage, at which point “Sandra Lipotrim” dropped it. What was Colcas thinking? The perfect cage was set up, then he threw the ball out if it. Several members of the crowd wondered if Colcas had swapped skins with Apollo for the match. Some fantastic dodging by “Thin Boy Wilson” allowed him not only to pick the ball up, but run away from all tackle zones. Apollo was left to reflect that “Thin Boy’s” brother, and non blood bowl player “Fat Boy Wilson” would never have been able to complete such a move. “Thin Boy” then handed to ball to “O So Thin” who had a clear run down the Willys line, but the buffoon failed to collect the ball, dropping it harmlessly to the ground.

Turn 2 saw Wills surround the ball, but “Leonster” failed to pick it up, luckily scattering it behind the Willys defence. 2 fantastic blocks from Rainford left “In” and “Leonster” stunned, the ball now only being in 1 tackle zone, form the rather effeminate “Quince Holes”. “Sweet Cheeks Willson” soon saw to this, blitzing “Quince Holes” away from the ball, but failing to knock him over. The turn ended with some uninteresting blocks, but those 2 stuns left Rainford in the driving seat.

Sweet Cheeks Willson has the ball, with only Quince Holes standing in his way
Turn 3 saw some basic defensive work from Willys, before Colcas handed initiative to Apollo. Apollo then surprised everyone with some top tactical play and switched the ball from “Sweet Cheeks” to “Throw Me A frikin Bone” who ran towards the centre circle, Wills blockers all now being at the bottom of the pitch. Rainford were again helped with a couple of stuns from blocks and the turn saw Rainford in a better position than at the end of turn 2.

Colcas reconstructed his defence at the start of turn 4 and even managed to blitz ball carrier “Throw”, but failed to dislodge the ball. Nothing else of interest happened in what was fast becoming a dour defensive effort from Willys. More steady play from Rainford saw another couple of stuns and only 1 Willys player not in a tackle zone. “Throw” was not at the top end of the field with the ball, but Apollo had masterminded some supporting players whilst managing to keep the pressure on the Willys. Another unspectacular turn, but surely Apollo was only biding his time. Colcas was left to hope that Apollo would throw a “Polly” and mess this fantastic position up.

Turn 5 saw “Ashton” and “Makerfield” move to the top of the field, before “Cowley Curse” used his oversize frame to attack “Sweet Cheeks Willson”, but caved under the pressure and only succeeded in knocking himself out. Apollo then benefitted from the luck his steady positional play deserved, knocking “Makerfield” out and off the pitch to recover. This was a body blow for Willys and “Throw” managed to dodge past “Ashton”, although needed a team reroll to achieve this. The turn ended with Willys staring down the barrel of a certain Rainford Touchdown, unless some sort of miracle was to happen.

The miracle was not to be though, “Busy Bees” falling over whilst trying to
dodge towards the ball carrier in turn 6. “Throw” then ran towards the endzone, stopping 3 squares away, safe in the knowledge there was no need for risk due to the gap between him and the Wills players. Rainford then rubbed it in, “Ashton” being badly hurt by “Big Crusher Holt” and the team apothecary not in the least interested in saving him.

Turn 7 saw Willys continue to fail, “In” managing to fall over whilst attempting a block. Apollo knew his team s touchdown was inevitable next turn, so instructed “Sweet Cheeks Willson” to make a block, which he managed to fail, falling over in the process.

Turn 8 saw Apollo suddenly realise the error of his ways AS “Busy Bees” charged towards “Throw” who suddenly felt very vulnerable. “Busy” was a fast moving, sure footed and stronger player altogether than “Throw” and Colcas was aching from laughter as the easy Go For It was attempted before the inevitable 2 dice block. Disaster, the Go For It failed. Colcas Thanked god for the sure footedness of “Busy”, only to watch with disgust as “Busy” again failed. Apollo had indeed thrown a “Polly” by ignoring “Busy” and only a Cowley size amount of luck prevented him losing the touchdown he had worked so hard to get. “Throw Me A frikin Bone” duly ran into the endzone to score making it 1:0 to Rainford Khemri.

The second half started with Willys only having 8 players at their disposal, “Cowley Curse” and “Makerfield” staying knocked out, whilst “Ashton” had been badly hurt in the first half. Colcas was really going to have to do something special to prevent Apollo getting that first ever Fumbbl Blood Bowl win against him.

Rainford made their 3 man advantage count with some excellent blocking in Turn 1, making Willys task even harder. “Sandra Lipotrim” made a daring dash for the ball, and actually succeeded in picking it up before attempting a brave (stupid) pass attempt, which duly failed.

Turn 2 saw Rainford covering every Willys player, before “Throw Me A frikin Bone” picked up the ball and skipped merrily into the Willys half. There being very little else possible, “In” attempted a daring blitz on “Throw”, which not only succeeded in knocking the ball out of “Throws” hands, sit also stunned him in the process. Rainford then had a stroke of luck, “Willybob Wilson” managing to catch the loose ball, despite the close attention of 3 Willys players. Needless to say, Colcas was NOT happy.

The return of the “Polly” saw “Thin Boy Pollard” race through a tackle zone in a moment of madness, before falling stunned to the ground. Not his proudest moment. Looks like buffoonery was catching though, “In” knocking himself over whilst attempting a block. Turn 3 would certainly not go down in blood bowl history for anything other than how not to play the game.

Turn 4 started in the same ridiculous vein with ball carrier “Willybob Wilson” knocking himself over whilst blocking, the ball scattering into and then out of “In’s” hands. “In” then attempted a block of his own, and also fell over. 2 turns of complete buffoonery.

“O So Thin” started turn 5 by going for the ball, but continuing the stupidity theme, simply pushed it around the floor to waste the Rainford turn. “Sandra Lipotrim” started with a block, and fell over to the sound of hoots of derision from the watching crowd.

Yet the comedic theme continued in turn 6, “Throw Me A frikin Bone” failing with 2 attempts to pick the ball up, despite it not being covered by any Willys player. “In” then attempted to dodge towards the ball, but failed miserably, landing prone next to it.

Turn 7 finally saw the ball end up in a players hands, “Throw Me A frikin Bone” the player to finally achieve this apparently rare feat, handing the ball off to “Sweet Cheeks Willson”, who decided he wasn’t having any of that, dropping the ball like the hot potato it had apparently become. Willys had one last chance to get a touchdown, but it needed luck of the highest order. In keeping with this feeble second half, the very first action failed, “In” failing to get to the ball and falling over in the process.

Turn 8 just simply existed.”Throw Me A frikin Bone” deciding not to pick the ball up before “The Girls” made a last charge for the ball, tripping over their claws and failing to even finish on their feet.

Rarely can there have been a half of such buffoonery, tomfoolery and general stupidity, the game degenerating into a farce which suited Apollo all too well. Players of both teams decided the ball was incidental to the game, simply running around, falling over, and generally doing anything other than picking the ball up. Overall though, Apollo deserved his first ever win over Colcas due to his strong first half display, although he very nearly ruined just before half time. Colcas was left to reflect on being 3 men down, and not having any luck during the game, something he most definitely was NOT used to. It appeared that this game had been run by the rules ob “Board Game” blood bowl rather than the “Fumbbl” version.
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