“Thor’s Boys took to the pitch for their second game, their first also being against Rainford which they easily won 2:0. There was therefore a tinge of revenge in the air from the coach Apollo. With Rainford having far more experience than Thor’s, it would need a tactical master class from Colcas to win this game. The game was notable for fielding 2 sets of brothers, the “Onions” of “Beef n”, “Cheese n” and “Pickled” for Thor’s Boys and the “Wilson” brothers of “Moaning Boy”, “Sweet Cheeks”, “Thin Boy” and “Willybob”.

Just before Kick Off, “Grotbag Hodgeons” was stunned and therefore unable to take part in the game and Thor’s were allowed to move 1 square each due to a quick snap. Great start for Thor’s being the sort of luck they would need if they were to win the game.

Turn 1 started with 2 standard blocks from Thor’s causing no damage, before “Wheat Crunchies” blitzed “Where De Go”, knocking him out and prompting the Rainford team to ask ‘Where De Go?”. Wheat Crunchies then ran deep into the Rainford half with plenty of support to provide cover. “Cheese n Onion” then picked the ball up and bided his time in the Thor’s half. Colcas was very pleased with his teams start to the game.There was little Apollo could do apart from pressurise ball carrier “Cheese n Onion”, mark the supporting “Hula Hoops” and try a few ineffectual blocks. No injuries were caused and “Wheat Crunchies couldn’t believe his luck, still standing free in the Rainford half.

Three blocks from Thor’s at the start of turn 2 saw 3 Rainford players knocked over before “Cheese n Onion” ran towards the halfway line. “Cheese” then ruined all the hard work by fumbling his first attempt, only to fumble the subsequent reroll. Colcas was seething with rage as a certain touchdown had just been stolen from his grasp. Rainford soon made Thor’s pay by ganging up on “Prawn Cocktail” and pushing him into the crowd. The raging crowd showed their dislike of “Prawn” by beating him so badly, he died from his wounds. This just goes to show that although Prawn Cocktail is one of Colcas’s favourite flavours, not everyone has the same opinion. There’s no accounting for taste. Buoyed by his sudden change of luck, Apollo ended the turn to see how Colcas would react.

The reaction from Thor’s in turn 3 was swift. “Smoky Bacon” pushed “Big Crusher Holt” over and “Cheese n Onion” stepped up to the plate to prove his fumble was a thing of the past. “Cheese” started by successfully dodging away from the marking Wilson brothers, “Thin Boy” and “Willybob” before picking the ball up at the second attempt. “Cheese” strode manfully (or Norsefully) into the Rainford half before throwing a perfect pass to the patient “Wheat Crunchies”, who of course spoiled the whole move by dropping the ball at his feet and bringing the turn to an end. Rainford had it all to do though if they were to prevent a Thor’s touchdown. “God Im Starving”, who was having his personal nightmare game with all this food on the pitch, dodged away from “Hula Hoops” before going straight for the ball, but he failed to pick it up on 2 attempts thanks to the marking “Wheat Crunchies”. This had been a rather risky play from Rainford, but in the circumstances there was very little else they could have done.

Turn 4 saw the torment for “God Im Starving” continue, with “Cheese n Onion” sidling up to him to waft his pungent aroma into the hungry one’s nostrils, before “Hula Hoops” charged in to blitz poor old “God”. Thor’s treatment was indeed harsh, and the combined might crispy goodness ensured “God Im Starving” was temporarily put out of his torment by being stunned. “Wheat Crunchies” then had the simple task of picking the ball up and waltzing in for a touchdown, which he completely cocked up by failing to pick the ball up despite having 2 attempts. Colcas was almost apoplectic with rage as the Dice Gods of Blood Bowl seemed to be Dry Bumming him at every possible attempt. “Big Jabber Summers” managed to put the ball and “wheat Crunchies” in her mammoth tackle zone by making 2 go for its, an exciting move by the big lummox. “Rag & Bone” spoilt this by failing a dodge, badly hurting himself in the process. Luckily for coach Apollo he regenerated onto the reserves bench.

Colcas was determined that turn 5 would bring the touchdown he had craved since turn 1. “Cheese n Chive” ran up to “Big Jabber Summers” before “Hula Hoops” blitzed the female mountain, only to find the old dear was a stubborn sort who refused to budge. “Wheat Crunchies” then decided to have a pop at “Big Jabber” with more luck, managing to stun her. This left the ball totally clear of Rainford players and surrounded by 3 Thor’s players. Surely the touchdown would now happen. “Cheese n Onion” decided to step up to the plate and ran with trepidation towards the ball. There was a huge roar from Colcas as “Cheese” succeeded where everyone else had failed and picked the ball up before running into the endzone. Finally Colcas could relax and allow himself a smile, the score being 1:0 to Thor’s.

There was a brief interruption for injury time, which meant each player lost a turn, reducing the time Rainford had to score an equaliser in the first half. A couple of blocks from Rainford left “Its Bad Programming” to go for the ball, but he failed miserable to pick it up in an ironic homage to his name.

Due to the injury time, it was now turn 7 and “Turkey n Stuffing” showed he was full of festive spirit by knocking “Its Bad Programming” away from the ball, allowing “Cheese n Chive” to step up, pick it up and run into the Rainford half albeit with no support from any team mates. “Its Bad Programming” then stood up to mark “Cheese n Chive” before “Dead Man Walk” lived up to his name by knocking himself out whilst attempting a block.
It was Colcas’s turn to rue the earlier injury time, as he was now 2 turns away from a possible touchdown, but only 1 remained. “Cheese n Onion” charged towards “Its Bad Programming” who had been taking some beatings and this was no exception, this time being knocked out. Despite being in the clear, “Cheese n Chive” could not score so instead ran towards “Turkey n Stuffing” before making a perfect pass to the festive one. “Turkey” then ran up to “Pickled Onion” and handed the ball off to him, just because he could. “Pickled “, then ran back towards his own endzone in a bout of showboating to the crowd. Nothing of interest happened in the Rainford turn, giving a halftime score of Thor’s Boys 1 Rainford Khemri 0.

Rainford really needed to step their game up for the second half as they never actually had control of the ball throughout the entire first half. This was rectified at the start of the second half due to Thor’s kicking the ball straight out of play and Apollo handing it to the mighty “Big Jabber Summers”. “Big Crusher Holt” then made a 2 dice blitz which should have cleared a path for “Big Jabber”, but “Cheese n Chive” refused to go down, standing tall against this mighty assault. Despite no injuries being caused, this was a positive, aggressive start from Rainford and had set them up well for a strong half. Being on the back foot, Thor’s needed some strong defensive plays, which they got. “Ready Salted” and “Wheat Crunchies” provided support for “Cheese n Chive”, whilst some excellent dodging from “Pickled Onion” and “Turkey n Stuffing” provided deep field cover. Again no injuries were caused but this was turning into a highly tactical half.

Turn 2 saw Apollo changing his tactics with “Big Jabber” handing the ball off to “Moaning Boy Wilson” before “Moaning Boy” ran towards the centre circle, covered by “Rag & Bone” and “God Im Starving”. Thor’s responded by pushing “God Im Starving” away from the ball, leaving “Moaning Boy” suddenly quite vulnerable and a touchdown looking very distant. Apollo appeared to have undone his well constructed attack from turn 1 to leave a rather haphazard look to his team.

“God Im Starving” started turn 3 by stunning “Salt n Vinegar” before “Willybob Wilson” did the same to “Spicy Tomato”. This turn of events left a clear path for “Moaning Boy Wilson” to charge deep into the Thor’s half. Suddenly, Apollo’s tactics looked perfect and Colcas started to think maybe he’s misjudged the buffoon Apollo. No further injuries were caused and it was now up to Thor’s to prevent a Rainford touchdown.

Thor’s had no choice but to be aggressive and take a risk or two. “Cheese n Onion” ran up to mark “Moaning Boy” before “Smoky Bacon” attempted to dodge away from “Thin Boy Wilson” in a blitz attempt on “Moaning Boy”. A perfect dodge was followed by the perfect blitz, “Moaning Boy” really having something to moan about as he was knocked out. With the ball landing nearby, “Smoky” carried on towards the ball and successfully picked it up. The perfect result as far as Colcas was concerned whilst Apollo was left to rue his gung ho approach. “Turkey and Stuffing” finished the half by badly hurting “Sweet Cheeks Wilson”, who luckily for Apollo regenerated onto the reserves bench. This wasn’t the Wilson brother’s finest hour. Not only did “Thin Boy” fail to prevent a dodge, “Moaning Boy” and “Sweet Cheeks” were both knocked off the field of play. Colcas on the other hand was left to reflect on the perfect turn and couldn’t imagine how it could have gone any better.

Turn 4 saw Rainford with little choice but to ramp up the aggressiveness. “Throw me a frikin Bone” stunned “Ready Salted” whilst “Willybob Wilson” went one better, breaking “Pickled Onion’s” back causing a serious injury. Unfortunately, “God Im Starving” decided to try a suicide blitz on ball carrier “Smoky Bacon” which gave coach Colcas the choice of 2 dice. Despite a reroll, Colcas had a skull to choose, which meant “God Im Starving” promptly fell to the floor in a heap of indignation. “Smoky Bacon” then blitzed “Thin Boy Wilson”, ably assisted by “Cheese n Onion” and managed to stun poor old “Thin Boy”. “Hula Hoops” then blocked “Its Bad Programming” away from the ball, leaving “Smoky” in the clear for the next turn. A second Thor’s touchdown was looking inevitable. “Turkey n Stuffing” ended the half by fouling “God Im Starving”, knocking him out. The referee did his job though and sent “Turkey” packing from the game.

Rainford needed something special in turn 5 if they were to get anything from the game. The first move saw “Big Crusher Holt” mark ball carrier “Smoky Bacon” before “Willybob Wilson” charged in for the blitz. The blitz was successful, “Smoky” falling over and the ball landing at the feet of “Willybob”. It was then over to Thor’s, where “Smoky” stood up, in a bit of a sulk. “Spicy Tomato” stunned “Rag & Bone” before “Cheese n Onion” made a foolhardy attempt to pick the ball up under the noses of “Willybob Wilson” and “Big Crusher Holt”. This of course failed, the ball bouncing into the waiting hands of “Smoky Bacon” who found it too hot to handle allowing it to bounce again into the hands of “Willybob” who kept up the general air of tomfoolery by pushing it into the hands of “Big Crusher” who followed suit, handing the ball back to “Smoky” who still didn’t want it, again handing it to “Willybob” who decided things were getting a tad ridiculous so promptly dropped it into an empty square. So ended one of the strangest turns, the ball bouncing all over the place and nobody wanting the damn thing. The words “ludicrous”, “ridiculous” and “I’m Oooot” could be heard coming from Colcas’s bench.

It was hoped that turn 6 would get back to normal, simple blood bowl play, and by jove did Rainford carry this out. “Throw me a frikin Bone” made a mockery of the previous turn by running up to the ball and easily picking it up before Apollo brought the turn to an end. Thor’s could do little but create a defence against the Rainford players, but time was on Colcas’s side, there being only 2 turns left meaning Apollo would need some tactical genius alongside some lucky dice rolls to score.

Turn 7 saw 3 blocks from Rainford resulting in nothing more than simple push backs. This did though create an avenue for “Throw me a frikin Bone” to charge through, taking him deep into the Thor’s half, although slightly susceptible to a Thor’s blitz.

Thor’s knew that one successful blitz would ensure the win, so Colcas set about planning this. “Wheat Crunchies” ran up to provide able assistance while “Ready Salted” charged in for the blitz. Colcas erupted with rage as the 2 dice blitz only resulted in a push back, although a period of reflection revealed this was good enough as “Throw” was 8 squares from the endzone, and even going for it he could only move 7. Colcas calmed down as he realised he had the game in the bag.

Turn 8 rather meandered to a low key close as Colcas savoured his win and Apollo was left to question whether his change of tactics in turn 2 had cost him the game.
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