“GAMEPLAN.

That's what the ViQueens wanted to do. Throw the Short Shufflers some new looks, some razzle dazzle... a little THIS and a little THAT - keep them off their game. The Bears lineup was solid and would outbash them toe to toe - and the rain made it fairly tough for any elfball, but the "luck" ran out of Luckman's teammates faster than the Chichaos doctor when he failed to repair the star hobbos carpel tunnel flareup...

George Halas showed up, despite complaining of Alzheimer's. When asked about his condition, he - of course - had forgotten about it entirely. The Bears won the toss and elected to receive and as foretold by ViQueens coach, Bride Childress - it was all downhill from there...

The ViQueens let the bears pass them by as they concentrated on testing out their new spike-heeled rainboots on some blockers, and they did such a good job of at least scaring the Bears that they forced an early waltz into the endzone by Sid Luckman. They got the ball back and attempted to strong-arm a sideline, but while their passing game was clicking, they mishandled a handoff and the ball was loose!
Chichaos made a quick wall keeping most of the Queens that were still left on the pitch squeezed in tight to the crowd (who was BEGGING to get their mitts on the girly's softest parts ;) - but the ball squirted loose in the rain and muck. Sid Luckman was able to pick it up, but his carpel tunnel syndrome gets REALLY bad in the rain, so he tried to hand it off - to no avail. The ViQueens Tavarissa Jackson tried to pick up the ball, but, ladies and gentlemen... NEWS FLASH!!! Tavarissa sucks. More on that later...
Sid picked up the ball again and tried to dodge away, but tripped and fell on his already aching hand! The doc ran out and tried a bread and milk poultice... but someone forgot to tell him that THAT remedy only works on gaping external flesh wounds! Sid furiously left the pitch - cursing the quack. And while the Short Shufflers were all worried about their star hobgoblin, Cindy Greenway snuck in, grabbed the ball, danced around Mike Ditka, threw the ball to Tavarissa - who surprisingly caught it, ran her ever-blessed heart out to hand it off to Visanthe Shianco (who was bookended by Urlacher and a hobbo...) and VISANTHE did a little short shuffle into the endzone to tie the game at one a piece at the half!

NOW!.. the ViQueens got the kickoff again! - but this time, they tried a different tactic. Saffron had been perfecting what she refers to as her "Granny Shot" and implored the coaches to let her give it a try. Well, Minnesnowta's coaching staff was too busy patting themselves on the back for their brilliant effort at the end of the half - they didn't even hear Saffron's suggestion. But the TEAM did... and they rallied to support what they would hope to be a 7 turn stall for the WIN! Well... it fell a little short of that, but the concept was there.
The Queens took the ball and set up like they were on a prevent defense. Chichaos thought they had the girls confused - but it was all part of the Rosenfels' master plan. As the Bears moved their line up, the Queens danced around it, trying to engage their opponents as little as possible. Chichaos blocked well enough to get a blitz on Saffron - a big one by Brian Urlacher!... but Saffron staved him off!!! She covered the ball, turned and faced the crowd in the corner of her own endzone ( the same crowd that would soon be tearing her clothes off...) and HEAVED THE BALL across the pitch!! And thus was born: The Granny Shot.
ViQueens rushed towards the ball, easily outrunning their stubby legged opponents. While running towards it, Visanthe again, scooped up the ball and jogged slowly to the endzone. She wanted to tick as much time off the clock as she could - unfortunately that time was the final tick tocks that Tavarissa Jackson would ever hear, as she was bowled over by big George Halas. The chum mixed with the rain and mud and the ViQueen's team doctor was scared to even come out (some think they even saw Bride Childress hold her back...) - turns out to be a good thing, because as Visanthe was trying to get on Prime Time, the Bear's "rookie" (seasoned boot artist that he is) came up to the ViQueens rookie blitzer Chestie Taylor and laid a crushing knee to her head. Doc was able to fix that one, though... and Shianco tiptoed quietly into the endzone for a 2-1 lead.

The Bears were stunned. They had only skill-inept hobbos trying to pick up the ball in the rain to try and score in three turns and it just started raining harder. ViQueens knew that bears smelled bad in the rain and these bears STUNK. Couple fumbles by said hapless hobbos while the ViQueens punched the bulls in the face and threatened surfing them - game over. Upset souffle anyone? :)

Lawman - your stats are correct. And you are a decent coach (better than me by most rights...) But you fricking whine like a baby girl. I miss lizvis - at least when he lost he was aggressive with his comments. YOU, sir, are a piss-poor whiny, glass-is-half-emptied-on-the-crotch-of-my-new-pants loser. Like many other coaches that people groan when they have to play, if you win - you are brilliant in your own eyes, and when you lose - OBVIOUSLY you were diced raped. It makes this victory even sweeter :)
Learn to enjoy the game even when you lose. Try it in the Fumbbl Cup... people won't see it coming.”