“Two goats removed from the pitch (OJ fouled to BH) on K.C.'s opening turn... Ref tossing Rian Lindell after a meager retaliatory boot to a DP zombie... another CW fouled off the pitch (TO... no surprise there). The Cheaters came out GUNS ABLAZIN' in their opening drive and reduced the Billy Goats to 8 for the 2nd half. Doc shows up late and the coach just glares at him with bloodshot eyes...

So we make Bryce Paup wear TO and OJ's armour to make sure HE stays on the pitch... but then he can't pick up the BALL when it's kicked to him! Twice he fumbles and the wolves rush in amid more casualties on both sides. When the doctor finally has a chance to try and keep Spencer Johnson on the pitch with some chiropractic work, the coach is beside himself with apathy...

[Coach sees Spencer Johnson, veteran goat, get niggled...]
Coach: Hey Apathy!
Apathy: Yeah coach?
Coach: Go punch that good for nothing lazy ass oversleeping son-of-a-bitch doctor in the nose and see if he can fix that...
Apathy: You mean now?... I'm kinda busy being bored...
Coach: Fine... whatever

So the Billy Goats lose their first conference match. Bummer we couldn't win, but we did score (finally) and didn't lose any fans... (they stayed to throw rocks at Bryce Paup for fumbling the fricking ball). Jairus Byrd continue to impress the coaching staff, as during a good portion of the game he was the only CW goat left on the pitch.

Congrats to K.C. - well gameplanned, well executed. T'was a bloody pitch. Good luck building Ron Edwards the 4th... you've probably thought of it, but use good parts from the three previous - reduce, reuse, recycle! :)”