“Well folks, it was another beautiful day at Diggly Field, and the Industrial Diggers were hoping some of your holiday cheers - and they certainly got them as they took on the Buffalo Billed Platypi!
The Diggers elected to start off receiving, and they lined up ready to rumble. The Platypi fell before the onslaught of the Dwarves, and a line of armored beards stretched out along the sideline as Marl, the Elven Hob, got the ball (after some struggle) into Caterpillar's hands. The enraged Billed Ones nearly broke out after Bonny stumbled in at attempt to join the fray, but in the end there was nothing they could do to stop the Fan Favorite from scoring. After all the fighting there just wasn't enough time for the Buffalo team to score, and they nearly lost James Lofty to a Dwarven blow. Thank heavens for good apothecaries!
The kickoff to the Platypi in the second half was perfectly placed, right in the end zone in the furthest corner of the field. Some heavy hits on the LOS made it look like it was going to end up being in the Platypi's favor, but an unlucky stumble (much like Bonny's earlier gaffe) let Keuper get behind the line of scrimmage before the Billed Ones could retrieve it. Drew Bleedslow and a doughty lineman covered him, but not quite closely enough, and the Hob ducked out of their grasp and scuttled over to the ball, scooping it up for another touchdown.
The ensuing kickoff stayed right in the center of the Platypi's side, and it looked like an easy play run was being set up. Suddenly the pitch erupted with the sound of breaking bones as first Deere, then Bonny and SkyTrak were pounded into the turf by an angered gang of Blitzers and Linemen. They set up for a run up the middle, and seemed to have all the Diggers covered, but Caterpillar, in an uncharacteristic display of dexterity, dodged away from Broose Smiff to blitz the ball from Drew Bleedslow. The Thrower managed to toss the ball to Andre Speed, but the Catcher was too close to Caterpillar and was knocked away a moment later.
In the ensuing melee the Diggers repaid the Platypi for their front line's broken bones, sending off Broose Smiff with a shattered knee of his own as well as two other players. The Diggers got the ball loose again and tried for one last pass to Caterpillar, but the foaming Bull dropped the ball as the whistle blew.
It was a hard fought match, and both sides will be nursing their wounds for a while, but in the end the Diggers were victorious.
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Thanks to Coach Burgnutz for a very fun game. The dice seemed particularly unfriendly to his Platypi during the game, but he kept up a friendly patter and a good attitude throughout, and he certainly never gave up. Just a couple of luckier dice could have made this a very different game. I look forward to meeting any of his teams on the pitch!”
“Here's what owner Ralph Killson had to say after the game:
"These disappointing losses at the hands of poor coaching decissions are unbearable. I mean seriously...what am I paying these guys for? The team is playing tough but I can't help noticing the abismal display of incompetence that is eminating from my sideline. It is truly unacceptable."
So, in true Billed fashion, the entire coaching staff was all sacked after the match.
Rumor has it that Lou Satan, The Billed coach from the glory days, will be brought back in an attempt to turn things around once again for this ailing franchise.”
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The Diggers elected to start off receiving, and they lined up ready to rumble. The Platypi fell before the onslaught of the Dwarves, and a line of armored beards stretched out along the sideline as Marl, the Elven Hob, got the ball (after some struggle) into Caterpillar's hands. The enraged Billed Ones nearly broke out after Bonny stumbled in at attempt to join the fray, but in the end there was nothing they could do to stop the Fan Favorite from scoring. After all the fighting there just wasn't enough time for the Buffalo team to score, and they nearly lost James Lofty to a Dwarven blow. Thank heavens for good apothecaries!
The kickoff to the Platypi in the second half was perfectly placed, right in the end zone in the furthest corner of the field. Some heavy hits on the LOS made it look like it was going to end up being in the Platypi's favor, but an unlucky stumble (much like Bonny's earlier gaffe) let Keuper get behind the line of scrimmage before the Billed Ones could retrieve it. Drew Bleedslow and a doughty lineman covered him, but not quite closely enough, and the Hob ducked out of their grasp and scuttled over to the ball, scooping it up for another touchdown.
The ensuing kickoff stayed right in the center of the Platypi's side, and it looked like an easy play run was being set up. Suddenly the pitch erupted with the sound of breaking bones as first Deere, then Bonny and SkyTrak were pounded into the turf by an angered gang of Blitzers and Linemen. They set up for a run up the middle, and seemed to have all the Diggers covered, but Caterpillar, in an uncharacteristic display of dexterity, dodged away from Broose Smiff to blitz the ball from Drew Bleedslow. The Thrower managed to toss the ball to Andre Speed, but the Catcher was too close to Caterpillar and was knocked away a moment later.
In the ensuing melee the Diggers repaid the Platypi for their front line's broken bones, sending off Broose Smiff with a shattered knee of his own as well as two other players. The Diggers got the ball loose again and tried for one last pass to Caterpillar, but the foaming Bull dropped the ball as the whistle blew.
It was a hard fought match, and both sides will be nursing their wounds for a while, but in the end the Diggers were victorious.
=====
Thanks to Coach Burgnutz for a very fun game. The dice seemed particularly unfriendly to his Platypi during the game, but he kept up a friendly patter and a good attitude throughout, and he certainly never gave up. Just a couple of luckier dice could have made this a very different game. I look forward to meeting any of his teams on the pitch!”