“Bad ballhandling and embarassing blocking led the Ratsketeers to a 3-0 mauling at the hands of a highly skilled UFC Starcraft team.

The opening drive started on a sour note when Unca Scourge Jr. got his clock cleaned by The Overmind. Rickey scrambled for the ball, but was unable to get it to an open receiver before getting swarmed by UFC who scampered in for an easy score.

The next kickoff looked more promising, with the Rats getting a cage going down-field. But some high-impact cage-busting from UFC scuttled those plans, and the humans waltzed into the end zone yet again.

UFC took the kick to open the second half, and the Rats were never able to lay claws on the ballcarrier; 3-0, Starcraft.

For the game's final kickoff, the Rats tried to flood the UFC backfield with receivers. It almost worked, but Ratsketeer Gutter Runners had no luck reeling in the pass. The Rats got it back after a brief scramble; trying to score a last-minute "pride" touchdown, Rickey overthrew Daisy, but the fan in the stands who actually caught the pass hit Gooey square in the numbers. Unfortunately, Gooey got tripped up gunning for the goal, and the game ended in Total Rodent Humiliation.

Congrats to my opponent on a very skillful (not to mention clean) ass-whuppin'. I got some bad breaks, but by God, you made me pay for 'em.”