“Raise the banner of woe! Set the beasts to trample skulls, and let loose the scythes of war! Charioteers are here to play ball, and rip flesh for 147,000 fans!

Hail to Brutus who smashes throats and sends wood elves to the boo boo box with a mighty crack! The fans demanded blood, and sacked the ref! Brutus heard the call, and set upon a path of destruction! Fan favorite! They give him the MVP and stay with the team! Now upgrade, to kick and guide us to victory!

And to Turbo!!! who suffers a gouged eye...tis his second! Though the winds of Hades may guide his hand, we retire him to an assistant coach...Battlestandard and master of defense!

We celebrate with char'd meats and flowing wine the addition of our newest Catcher, Bang Fist! Don't try to scare this one...his mind is already gone....wild animal thriving on instinct alone! He drives his chariot by scent...detecting glory over the hill...and down the road to Hell!”