“Some poor positional play was redeemed by several huge dollops of luck as the lizards really did take the biscuit today.

Receiving in the first half, they scooped up the ball easily enough, but foolishly left the skink too close to a sneaky elf, who was able to bring down his target and run in for an early score, and the Biscuits were unable to score in the rest of the half.

Kicking off the second half, a bizarre decision by the coach to alter his usual formation led to disaster as the elves broke down the right flank in numbers, and only a desperate blitz from seasoned skink Penguin stopped the lead becoming unassailable - he summoned every ounce of his experience to make a pow. Seemingly in slow motion, the ball spilled from the hands of the attacker, rolling into the crowd, who dutifully helped their team by flinging the ball upfield - straight into the arms of Jaffa Cake the Kroxigor! Jealously guarding what he believed to be a tasty morsel, Jaffa ran straight towards the dressing room, which happened to be behind the opponent's goal line. Though he was disappointed to find the ball was not in fact edible, his team promised many treats for his contribution to the game.

All looked set for the draw, but the elves tried one last desperate play for the win, freeing a receiver upfield and releasing the pass. To no avail, for Digestive seemed inspired by Jaffa Cake's earlier actions, and plucked the ball from mid-air, running in a last-turn winner.

2-1 the final score, and a terribly unlucky loss for Gritter's elves.”