“Chapter 5


“Sorry!” Beds are Burning called over his shoulder to the amazon linewoman he’d just left face down in the dirt. “You okay?”
The amazon tried to push herself up onto her knees, but gave up halfway and collapsed back down. Her game was over. Beds are Burning stopped and turned.
“Oh no,” he said, and there was real pity in his eyes. “Here, let me help you.”
But as he stepped over to try and pick up the fallen amazon, two of her team mates appeared beside him.
“Oh no you don’t,” one of them said. “Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage already?” and with that the pair of them knocked the wardancer to the floor and did what they could to exact revenge for their fallen comrade.

Meanwhile, the rest of the White Men in Black Suits were having a field day. True Power were a reasonably strong team, but for some reason nothing was going their way today. Possibly it was the sun which was blazing down from behind the wood elf endzone making all but the shortest of passes a near impossibility. Or maybe or was just that the White Men had finally found their groove. Certainly they were working well as a team today. The Line was holding, the passing game was secure, if a little uninspiring, but Coach Robsson could hardly complain. His boys were doing great!

Beds are Burning ran over to the sidelines as the injured amazon was helped off the field.
“Coach,” he said. “I feel really bad about this. Do you think I should go over and try and help at all?”
Coach Robsson slapped his head in frustration, then slapped the wardancer because it felt better and hurt less.
“How many times are we going to have to go through this? It’s BloodBowl. You’re supposed to hit the opposing team. If you injure them, all the better, and if you seriously injure them, or even kill them, then they’re unlikely to come back and try and do the same to you.”
“I don’t like hitting women. That’s all there is to it.”
“Fine. Then get back out there and provide cover for One More Cup of Coffee. Just stand in the way if that’s all you can do, but make sure he’s free to score. Leave the killing and maiming to someone who can do it properly.”
Robsson waved across at his treeman, The Lion and the Unicorn, who had already injured another of the amazons earlier in the game. The treeman’s face wrinkled up into a grotesquely distorted grimace that Robsson knew from experience was his best attempt at a smile.
“Good work, Lion! Keep it up.”

The second half proved to be no easier for the amazons. especially when Gold Strike caught one of the opposing catchers and killed her with a single blow. The crowd roared their approval, Gold Strike did a little dance of delight, and Beds are Burning cried out in anguish and tried to help carry the body off the field. After that, the fight went out of True Power and the White Men’s third touchdown was hardly even contested.


* * * * *


“Ha!” cried Robsson. “A great victory.”
They were celebrating in one of the local taverns and he’d already had several more than he could handle.
“Still, that just goes to show, you should never leave it to a woman to do a man’s job, eh?”
There was an awkward silence and several of the players shifted uncomfortably in their seats, staring down into their tankards.
“What?” mumbled Robsson. “I’m just saying, women shouldn’t be allowed to play BloodBowl, that’s all. It’s a sport for men… and male, men-like things.”
“Uh, Coach,” said Gold Strike. “I’m a woman.”
Coach Robsson stopped chuckling to himself and sat up, suddenly a little more sober.
“Huh?”
“I’m a woman.”
“B…b…but you never said,” managed Robsson after a while. “I had no idea.”
Gold Strike shrugged.
“With wood elves it can be hard to tell sometimes. Does it matter?”
“Does it matter? That one of my players is female?”
“Two,” mumbled Snow (Hey Oh).
“What? You as well? This is unbelievable.”
Robsson looked around the rest of team in disbelief.
“Well, anyone else, while we’re on the subject?”
“Well, technically…” began The Lion and the Unicorn, but Coach Robsson ran screaming from the tavern before he could hear any more.
”