“Chapter 9

“Why is it so dark?” asked So Much for the Afterglow. “How am I supposed to throw any passes in this?”
He peered into the gloom trying to see some sign of stands, or spectators, or even the far side of the pitch. The White Men in Black Suits were playing away at the home of BloedDoetGoed, a dark, dreary and oppressive dome which was lit only by several giant chandeliers hanging from the roof.
“Well, that’s vampires for you,” said Beds are Burning. “No sun, no fun. I’m surprised so many of our fans turned up. It’s not as if they’re going to see much.

White Men in Black Suits received the kick and straight away So Much for the Afterglow scooped up the ball and looked downfield for his receiver.
“Where the heck is One More?” he bellowed, but all he could hear by way of reply was the crashing and grunting from the line of scrimmage somewhere in front of him in the gloom.
“Talk to me guys. I’m throwing blind here.”
There was movement off to his left. Someone was approaching, but he couldn’t tell if it was one of the vampires, or one of his linemen coming back to assist. He raised his arm to throw but hesitated for just an instant and suddenly one of BloedDoetGoet’s thralls launched himself from the shadows, catching the passer completely by surprise and sending him crashing to the stony ground in a cloud of dust and blood. Unopposed, he scooped up the ball and although he could easily have sprinted in for the score straight away he delayed, turning and making a low bow to the team’s fans in the crowd.

The wood elves were stunned. So Much for the Afterglow was carried off and Doc Onholiday set about patching him up as best he could. The damage was severe but once the doc had applied copious amounts of unguent-soaked leaves to most of the passer’s face and neck, he seemed happy enough to leave him to rest. Coach Robsson, meanwhile spend a desperate few minutes arguing with one of the opposition’s assistant coaches who had been sent over to see if he could “borrow” the dead passer’s body for a while, and who really wasn’t taking no for an answer.
“He’s not dead!” barked Robsson.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive!”
“He could be, if you like. I could pop in and finish the job.”


Eventually, however, the assistant coach was returned to his own side and the match continued, this time with The L&N filling in for the injured So Much. The gloom was still affecting their game, but some close passing and careful teamwork enabled the wood elves to level the score.
“It’s getting easier to see now,” said One More Cup of Coffee as he took his place behind The Lion and the Unicorn after the touchdown. “My eyes must be adjusting to the candlelight. Maybe this game isn’t going to be the disaster we thought after all. Let’s see if we can’t give these bloodsuckers a taste of their own medicine.”
This seemed to give new heart to the wood elves and they prepared for the kickoff with renewed determination.

Several minutes later, as the whistle blew for halftime, they were down by a further score and a further injured player. Much of the renewed determination had already evaporated.
“Come on lads, don’t lose heart,” said Coach Robsson during the break. “You’re only a score… and a couple of players down. The passing game is a no-hoper here, but let’s see if we can’t try a bit of block-and-run for a change. If we can get those vampires a bit riled, they’re likely to cause just as much damage to their own team as they are to us. Maybe we can outnumber an opposition team for once.”

And so it was. The Lion and the Unicorn led the charge, dominating the centre and forcing the vampires to take to the sides of the pitch and Beds are Burning led a determined counter-attack against the vampires’ attempt to get a strong defensive position set up deep in their half. And sure enough, the frustration began to tell, and on more than one occasion Coach Robsson saw with delight that the vampires were starting to pick on their own thralls and this was causing the thralls to make mistakes.

A fumble at the back allowed One More Cup of Coffee to run in an easy touchdown and then although the vampires went for the win with everything they had left, by that stage in the game, what they had left wasn’t enough. Finally, sensing trouble, they abandoned their attempt to score, pulled back and ensured there was no possibility of the White Men pulling a surprise move in the dying seconds. The final result was a 2-2 draw.

“Well, it could’ve been a lot worse,” said Coach Robsson on the trip home. “So Much and Peace Frog are both going to make it, though they’ll need some time to recover, and I doubt poor old Peace Frog will ever be able to keep up with the rest of you in a race to the pay chest from now on, but hey, we did a fair bit of damage ourselves for once. I’m proud of you. Sadly, I think the vampires felt they should have won the match and I suspect there’ll be a fair few of our fans who somehow don’t make it to any more of our daylight games from now on, but not a lot we can do about that. Some you win, some you lose.”
“And some you draw,” added Beds are Burning, philosophically.
”