“NWFL Season IV Rd 5.

Suckers chose to receive and faced off against a stout 6-man LOS. Not ones to back down from a challenge the Suckers piled in and got to work. After pushing back or knocking down most of the LOS, Gustav came forward and gave Larry the boot, koing him. Asmodai scooped up the ball and started for the right hash.

The greenskins countered and plugged up the sideline, forcing a reversal. The vampire squad swung the ball left and began a push up the left sideline. It was about this time that Counting, with an assist from Type A Negative blocked Moe-moe, but didn't manage to push him back. With a mighty roar and to the sound of crinkling armor, Moe-moe punched Counting in the chest. Then Moe-moe pulled Countings HEART right out of his chest and popped it into his mouth! Silence fell. The entire stadium sat stunned...did that really just happen? The moment was broken by the wail of a virgin "Noooooooo". The stadium erupted in pandemonium. Suckers fans crying for vengeance, orcs cheering ecstatically. Moe-moe munching away. The Count of Counting, team lynchpin and Superstar, was no more.

The thralls looked to one another, shrugged their shoulders, and went back to work. The drive, after a short stall, continued up the sideline with Asmodai handing the ball off to Berogi who strode in for the score.

Ironcollar quickly got the team's head around and set the team up to kickoff. The Orcs still had 4 turns to equalize in the first half and the Suckers had their work cut out for them. A bad kick gave the ball directly to speedy BOB Shemp and he rumbled up field protected by 2/3 of the Orc team, in what the Suckers like to call a 'cage'.

Asmodai saw an opening though, and with the thralls cancelling tacklezones he blitzed in for a 1d block on Shemp and flattened him, but the ball scattered into the Orc pack. The Suckers weren't done though and Chump 1d blocked and flattened Moe-moe, clearing all but one Orc from the ball. Rookie vampire Kevostoc swooped in a grabbed the ball and got the heck back out of there. YOINKS yelled the Suckers fans!

Caught flat-footed by the unbelievable theft of the ball from the massive 'cage', the Orcs were too slow and out-of-position to recover. Berogi broke free and ran down the oppposite sideline, and Kevostoc fed him a pass for another TD on the Suckers last play of the half. Half-time arrived with the Suckers up 2-0 and 'only' down Counting.

But they weren't done yet, oh no. On the ensuing kickoff the Suckers Blitzed! Sweeping around both ends of the heavily commited orcs, the Suckers quickly advanced on the ball. Clearly the greenskins were unnerved by the sudden attack as they failed THREE times to pick up the ball. Although most of the team got back and even managed to surf and injure a number of Suckers players in the process, they failed to prevent Asmodai from dancing thru their team to claim the ball and a 3-0 lead.

The game ended 3-1 following a successful Orc drive that saw most of the vampire team giving ground.

Coach Ironcollar in the post game:

"What? Yeah, of course losing Counting is a big blow. But we've dealt with worse and we'll push thru it. I've always said that the Thralls were the heart of this team and...and...ah, who the bleep am I kidding? Would we be Superior Bowl Champions without Counting? No. Would we have even gotten to the Superior Bowl without Counting? No. The Suckers are done this season, D O N E done. Asmodai is talented, but he's no Counting. And that gimpy knee of his is gonna catch up to him sooner or later, and then what've we got? Two mediocre vampires and a bunch of thralls ain't gonna cut it in this league. Get outta my way, I need a drink!"”