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Newsfight faced off against the monstrosities of Zarbi in this low-scoring, tense match.
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Not one for the purists, John Snow Mercy dubbed the first half as "News at One", after the number of fluffed blitzes, dodges, and general incompetence.
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The plucky newsbeaters showed their mettle in other ways though, receiving over thirty brutal blows before Doombleby began to show signs of fatigue, and a succession of last-gasp moves denied their opponents a score in the first half
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I, Sir Trevor, scored my second touchdown in as many matches, showing the other news anchors how it's done. My victory dance was a sight to behold and may have unsettled poor George Alagiaaaaaargh, who spontaneously exploded on the restart. I am now reported to be in talks with ITV for a higher salary and in this reporter's opinion, I deserve to get it.
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That was Tonight, with Trevor McChokehold.
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”