“As I explained to bassista, I play two opponents every game - my opposite number, and Nuffle. Playing with a team like Pact leaves me particularly to the tender mercies of that unloving god....

The first half defence broke down with an Ogre Bonehead exposing my, up to that point, organised lines, allowing the Lizards to not only switch flank, but wall off that side of the pitch.

The second half went similarly, with the removal of the Ogre with a 1db leaving my cage hopelessly exposed. In a desperate play, a Marauder blitzed out of the trap and fell in the endzone, the Dark Elf having wasted the reroll already on a 2+ dodge. It was game over, the cold-blooded reptiles toying with the dwindling number of Marauders on the pitch.”