“What a game! Never discount Old News! They took to the field demoralized from the death of The Aids Virus last game. Forcing a turn over, they scored in the latter part of the first half, and stopped the opposition from scoring before the half.. A few KO's on each side equally reduced players on the field. Rodney King got beaten down fairly early in the game. A fairly normal game so far... But ooooooh nooooo, that was not to last... Going into the second half, only pure craziness ensued! As the opponents stole the ball, Hanging Chad, never to be miscounted, supported by The Economy, went into defense mode! It looked hopeless, with the end-zone in reach on the opponent's next turn! But NOTHING stops The Economy.. And The Economy is BAD!!! In a move certain to send the opponent Coach into DEPRESSION, The Economy successfully DODGED away with his 1 AG for a blitz! KAPOW!!! The Bull (Centaur) market takes a hit and goes down! The ball is loose!! Time for Hanging Chad to stand up an be counted! He dodges into the fray, mishandles the ball for a turn but manages to recover the bouncing ball as he is wedged in the corner of his own end zone surrounded by the enemy... The Economy to the rescue.. BOOM!, another down day for the market! Hanging Chad, boxed in, hanging by a thread, sure to not last another turn throws a long range pass to a distant teammate... It's time for a Wardrobe Malfunction who catches the ball and it's time for him to live up to his name.. Will that spherical object pop free? It does! Did you see that??? Catch a glimpse?? The fans sure saw that Wardrobe Malfunction as he dashed to the end zone to score in turn 7 of the second half.. Sick luck? Undignified victory?? Hell yes! That's Old News!

Post game editorial: Is the team still demoralized from the loss of AIDS?? Wait! Look at that... Extra Extra, read all about it.. There's a new player on the team.. Call the Center for Disease Control because here comes the H1N1 Swine Flu!”