“Such a match the world has rarely seen! The spectacular play of the Jams and Jellies dazzled the assembled throngs for most of the night, but the crowd went absolutely insane when Peanut Butter Sandwich, the lone Ogre available to play with the gobbos, completed the first pass (of the ball) of his career!

The match went amazingly well in the first half, with PB Sammich, as his gobbo friends call him, tossing Peach Jam downfield, narrowly missing the Stars of Heaven's catcher. Peach Jam then ran in for a tying score toward the end of the first half. However, right as the half ended, the Stars reached into their bag of dirty tricks and brought out a sprig of Ogresbane, the very rare plant that is known to stun ogres for days on end. PB Sammich was out at the half, and the Jams (and the Jellies) were beside themselves with terror at the thought of yet another second half without a protective Ogre. Grape Jelly rounded them up, and gave perhaps the most rousing speech of his career, saying only, "yews go do good er ahm gonna bash yews inna hed!" The speech brought tears to the eyes of his grateful coach.

In the second half, the team fought valiantly for any chance at victory, but all seemed lost, as the gobbos were pushed around again and again, and it seemed like the Elves might be content to spend the rest of the match bashing gobbos! However, someone remembered that, if the Ogre should make a miraculous recovery and return to the pitch, then the gobbos might just tie the score, and there's nothing that High Elves hate more than failing to beat Goblins. So score they did, with the intention of scoring several more times.

Luck was not with them, though, as PB Sammich awoke, a stunning event that crippled the morale of the Stars' stars. However, the gobbos were not content to merely allow those nasty elves to run up the score on them, and ever more mindful of scoring than safety or even fun, the Jams came up with a plan. They were going to have PB Sammich fling super-star gobbo Blackberry Jam down to a score, but when he got back to where Blackberry Jam was with the ball, he couldn't get the squirming gobbo to stop squealing "wait! wait! I gotta new plan!" so he took the ball from Blackberry Jam and dropped him on the ground. The elves closed in on him, but he was faster, darting around them to the outside, where they'd foolishly left team leader Grape Jelly all alone. PB Sammich lofted a beautiful spiral right to Grape Jelly, who had gobbos ahead to assist him, and he plowed right through an elf on the way down the pitch. The elves tried to catch him, but he shrugged them all off, and with help from the other gobbos, he waited by the endzone for enough time to run down that the elves couldn't score. When enough time was gone, he pitched it off to Peach Jam for the score, and the match was tied!

The crowd was so out of their skulls by this point that they charged the field to get a piece of the Jams. For the gobbo fans, this meant they wanted to have their very own bits of their favorite gobbos, but for the elf fans, this meant they wanted to kill these offensive little green things that'd ruined their beautiful elvish victory. Order was restored before anyone got souvenirs, and this wonderous match ended in a draw.”