“After a half of blood and guts being spilt, finally all the wimps were removed from the field and the players worth their salt could enjoy a proper game in the 2nd period.

Bard gets a battle scar and becomes a real black orc, casting aside unnecessary agility. 3 dwarves didn't cut the mustard.

0-0 at half time, Orb hid himself away in the men's room protesting wooziness from a knockout blow. He would refuse to come on for 2 further kick offs, and was later caught reading this month's New Scientist whilst fouling up the locker room.

Despite this, the rest of the team put in an impressive shift, keeping the violent dwarves at bay before twice stealing on Guard is God drives to score two touchdowns.

The first was finished by some deft hand- and footwork by Thorn, albeit only necessary because he got a little too excited when through on goal, only to fall over and give Coach Synn a chance to get some cover on the loose ball!

The second was an impressive sacking by Wolf who only needed one shot at a green runner to seal victory for the 'Saws.

In other news, stock in betting agencies rose sharply after the 'Saws emerged unscathed and victorious against a dwarf side, the kind that usually put orcs in the ground. Punters lost large sums of monies. Coach Chainsaw insisted he was crying tears of joy at the post-match press conference and denied remortgaging his home to put a large bet on orc fatalities.”