“News Team Back on Track

There had been dark times for the News Team, dark indeed. The newsreaders had been exclusively presenting in black ties for two weeks while the nation tried to figure out whose death they were all marking. John had taken to paying a trio of cellists to follow him around and play ominous chords after every sentence he said. The new Axeman hadn't murdered anybody.

And then to top it all, here came some rivals. Younger, hipper, sleeker, more agile, they would surely sound the death knell for our intrepid band of reporters. However the newsreaders used their experience, and by experience I mean elbows, to great effect, ruffling the hair and creasing the suits of these johnny-come-latelys. Though it didn't necessarily hurt them, it did mean a lot of the other team had to spend their time in the KO makeup booth, getting their hairstyles back to normal and frantically changing shirts.



And while they were doing that, Tesla wins!”