“Receiving the opening kickoff, the Vampires of Newlydeadcastle United go straight for the jugular. With typical style Joey "Jaws" Barton flioes in studs-raised on Carlos Bocanegra. The Warrior is taken off but soon regenerates his shins and would return in the second half looking for revenge.

So far so good, but the sight of fresh blood is too much (or not enough, from his point of view) for Peter Lovenkrands and he runs off into the crowd to quench his thirst.

With no-one left in the United backfield, Glassjaw sends Juanma Ortiz around scrimmage but he pays the price for skipping warmup, and ends up in the turf. Seconds later Joy Barton makes it 2/2.

Sol Campbell secures the ball and as Newlydeadcastle make moves up the sideline, Glassjaw Strangers mop up the midfield. Wilhelm Chaney is removed by a foul from Gers favourite McCoist and both sides losses are mounting up.

As we reach the midpoint of the half, Strangers are pressing the heavily depleted United closer to the sideline so Sol Campbell makes a break into centre field with only Djemba Ba in support. It proves to be a fatal move as they are quickly surrounded by Strangers before Nikica Jelavic wrestles Campbell to the deck. Steven Davis grabs the ball and stalls out the half before scoring in T8.

HT: 1-0


Kicking off in the 2nd half, the Castle immediately received a boost as Alan "elbow" Shearer killed Strangers Legend David Weir in T9. Even the Glassjaw Captain himself applauded the hit as he sat recovering in the dug-out, after the physio had wheeled him off the pitch in a barrow. Those were the moments he lived for -- of all the moments he had seen in his 90 career matches to date he still loved the fight, even when on the receiving end.

Unfortunately for Shearer and co, that was the highlight of the half for them. Two turns later Carlos Bocanegra returned the favour by killing Fabricio Coloccini, not before he had Badly Hurt Wilhelm chaney.


In T13 Steven Davis brought down ball-carrier Peter Lovenkrands, forcing the ball into the crowd. The fans decided the match would be more interesting with the ball on the Newlydeadcastle goal-line. Glassjaw's players swarmed towards the ball but with no-one in range the Castle still had a chance to clear their lines. That was until the supposedly uber-agile Sol Campbell proceeded to fail two dodges in a row leaving a walk-in for Florian Dick.

2-0

With 3 turns left there was still a slim chance to equalise. Newlydeadcastle lined up aggressively one one flank, hoping for a quick score, but Strangers had one more piece of razzle-dazzle in their playbook. As the Vamps lined up to receive, the Gers quickly pulled their key players to the open side of scrimmage and squib-kicked short toward the sideline. Sol Campbell, desperate to make amends for his earlier error, grabbed the ball from under the tentacles of Doc Jackson but his lateral pass was scooped out of the air by those same tentacles. A few moments later Steven Davis was running it in for his 2nd TD of the match.

FT: Glassjaw Strangers 3-0 Newlydeadcastle”