“Coach Chainsaw beamed, "Finally the 'Saws win again!"

Somebody whispered in his ear, a puzzled expression on his face before an audibale, "Aaaah."

Back to the microphone, "It has been brought to my attention that the opposing team scored more touchdowns. We inflicted 8 casualties to 1. Like I said, finally the 'Saws win again!"

The journalists clapped. There's a reason the sport is called Blood Bowl.

The match was notable for 2 things. Firstly the aforementioned beaten up elves. Fortunately for Coach Malmir the only permanent damage being a dead rookie.

The other notable thing was the inducements - or lack thereof. Coach Chainsaw was 'sold' a chef (zero rerolls stolen), a wizard (fizzled), and a bomber and bribe - the bomber threw 1 bomb before I Say You Fellows scored, used the bribe, then blew himself up and knocked himself out as his only action of the next drive.

A rosey cheeked Coach Malmir, who had staggered about his dugout all game and frequently nipped to the toilet, denied schmoozing the stadium owner prior to the match and influencing the selection of local vagrants in place of official inducements.

When later pressed on the issue, Coach Chainsaw commented, "Now you mention it, the wizard did smell a bit funny and it did seem suspect when the chef claimed that urinating in the soup gave it extra flavour."”