“My experiences with norse teams have so far been a little unremarkable. Except for their ball-handling ability, which is remarkable, only because it is nonexistent. It must be the frostbite on their hands that makes picking up the ball so difficult. But, you sign up for a league, you might as well play. Just my luck, elves. Wood Elves, no less. This was going to be a mess. So, let's make it messy.

The game started out all right: the ball bounced into the hands of my thrower, knocked down some line elves, and handed off the ball to a star werewolf who ran for it. Looking back now, all of these moves were a mistake. A wardancer came by and knocked the stuffing out of the werewolf, popping loose the ball, as another elf walked over and picked it up. Set up a defensive perimeter around the elf with the ball, which was then lept over, and they walked in a touchdown. Fine. They're elves. It's what they do. I will just have to come up with a way to stop them from doing that. The answer: hit them.

The next few turns were just a bash/fumble-fest, as we knocked a few elves out, lost a player or two to a sloppy dodge, and both teams could not pick up the ball and hold on to it. Finally, on the final turn, the ball was all alone, not a tackle zone to be found on it. All we had to do was pick it up, walk over to the other blitzer, hand it off, and walk, backwards, into the unguarded endzone. Remember that frostbite? Failed the pick up. End of half, 1-0.

Fine. Different strategy: All these elves rush forward, so mark them, and somebody go hit that elf in the backfield that's holding the ball. Would you know it?, it almost worked. Almost. Except the elf rushed forward and passed the ball to an open elf... Or would have, had the ball not been intercepted by one of our linemen. There's only 8 of the elves on the field, 3 of them are out of range and covered. 3 more are lying on their backs. Hand the ball off and make a run for it. We even had adequate coverage. But, in true elfy fashion, they still knocked the ball loose, and knocked the blitzer out, getting him back for earlier. There was still a chance, though. We recovered the ball, and had it protected. Same wardancer knocked the ball loose, again. Their catcher came in, scooped up the ball, and passed it to one of the linemen who had stayed downfield, waiting for the ball. BUT NO! Another interception!

Hustling towards the enzone, with time ticking away, zigging right to avoid the mess, we could make this happen... Had it not been for the same wardancer, taking the ball away, for a third time. Thankfully, the elf that recovered the loose ball fumbled the pass attempt, so we set up around the ball, smashed one more elf, and waited to see how the elves would answer back. The simply walked around us and went for the ball. By the grace of Nuffle, they failed, and the ball bounced away, still well covered by the elves.

Did I still have a chance at whisking the ball away and tying the game? At this point, yes. A remote one. So what did I do? Went for stupidity for stupidities' sake, and lobed a bomb at the elves covering the ball. Why? Why not!?! The bomb was thrown, and caught, by a wood elf, and thrown back and forth five (5) more time, before it finally hit the ground and exploded, right under the feet of my norse team.

Well folks, that's game. There was another bomb attempt, which was again intercepted by their catcher, who attempted to throw the bomb at some poor, unsuspecting linemen, but the ball was intercepted by the werewolf, who then attempted to extract some sweet revenge on that pesky wardancer by dropping the bomb in his lap. Instead, he fumbled the pass, and the bomb took everyone out. The next turn the elves waltzed into the endzone, ending the match, 2-0. For our last turn, we knocked out one more elf, and our thrower fumbled the pick up attempt, not that we expected anything less.

This was an awesome match, filled with laughter, and highly enjoyed by both coaches. The crowd watching was really out for elven blood, but we took it easy on these guys, and they did the same to us, at least when it came to the bashing. wintergreen13 has my respect as a coach, as an opponent, and as a sportsmen. I look forward to another meeting of our teams on the pitch; next time with a team who can actually hang on to the ball.”