“So, we hear that Plump 'n Tasty managed to hang on for a draw against their second Chaos Halfling opponent. But we have with us now, Mincemeat, Star of Choppy Sewery who single handedly stabbed out 4 different snotlings AND a troll. How was the game Mincemeat?

Well I couldn't believe it! At first there were all these great wooden contraptions everywhere - they don't fit into any stew, but as any good ref does, they were all tossed out in the first half. And while chainsaws don't taste none too good, and those ridiculous halflings who carry them got what they deserved when those trolls badly hurt them, they did manage to carve a HUGE steak off of Mr Garbage Chute, that big troll with '10 SPP' carved on his back; apparently he's been retired since with the chunk out of him his tatoo now read '-AV' and he was planning on sulking during the next game and Plump 'n Tasty couldn't have that.

At the end, after stabbing out snotlings 3 and 4, I tried to pick up the ball; and while it was pretty spiky, I am the KING of stabbing. It didn't hurt me at all. And then out of nowhere, in the last seconds of the game, this tiny snotling suddenly rocketed through the air towards me! I thought I was gonna have supper impaled on my kitchen knife! But it missed, and instead it splattered snotling goo all over me (excellent for use in soups) when it landed smack on this snotling who was lying at my feet. Both the flying snotling and the crushed snotling ended up off the pitch, and apparently that hurt one didn't even stand back up! I thought snotlings ALWAYS stood up after being hurt??

Either way, I got some choice parts for my next feast, and while those chaos halflings didn't win, I might just want to follow Plump 'n Tasty - apparently they're going to the main tournament, and they do so provide good ideas for recipes!”