“The long-suffering Half-Masters fans were rewarded with a rare victory against the foul undead, in a match that concluded with one of this season's most spectacular plays. Even better, it was accomplished mostly without the aid of the underhanded tricks the halflings usually employ. The team hired a chef to drug the undead's food, but remembered too late that the undead don't eat. They bribed the referee to turn a blind eye to their cheating, and then didn't get caught cheating the whole game. Still, when the dust had cleared, the halflings stood victorious for the first time this season.

The game opened with a scrum, as designated fouler Black Billy Belton found himself trying and failing to play the ball. Somehow, a mummy ended up with the ball, but The Plank knocked it out of his bony hands, and into those of Belton. The brutish halfling capitalized, running it out and tossing to Hoppin' Harry Halfwise for the game's first TD.

But the dead returned for another TD late in the first half. Meanwhile, the former torturer Old Pjetok was wreaking havoc on the halflings and their fragile armor. In the closing minutes of the half, Halfwise got deep again, but stumbled over an old bone on the pitch and broke his hip. In a desperate move, The Plank chucked Barnacle Bilbo bodily down the field, but he couldn't quite secure the ball in the end zone.

The dead took the ball in the second half, but Cap'n Sandflea himself blitzed the carrier, knocking the ball loose. (The first of several crucial blocks by Sandflea.) Rollo Foghorn picked up the ball and tried to hand it off to Belton, but again, Belton failed to get a handle on it. Lynch the zombie took the ball, but Barnacle Bilbo knocked him over... the ball bounced directly to the skeleton Bren Hanchfield, and while he was securing it, The Plank smashed his skull to bits. (Fortunately for Hanchfield, they were later able to glue it together.) This time, the ball was in safer hands, with Rollo Foghorn regaining possession. While the dead tried in vain to catch up to the quarterback, Belton saw his chance to do what he actually specializes in... and fouled Commander Cenwig Green off the pitch.

Old Pjetok was running after the ball, but so was Sandflea... the captain had heard Rollo Foghorn extolling the virtues of strategic stalling, and wanted his QB to know that the fans didn't want to see any of that nonsense. Foghorn obliged, running it in to make the score 2-1.

On the next kickoff, the Half-Masters tried a trick play... the end result being that Barnacle Bilbo somehow found his way to the other side of the field and caught the kickoff in the air. This did him no good, though, because here's Pjetok again, knocking him out of the game with a ferocious blitz. Cenwig Green, who had recovered somehow from the earlier foul, picked up the ball... but the good Cap'n was having none of that, relying on assists from Rollo and Stingray Jake to knock the wight over. The ball bounced loose, but while Pjetok was able to secure it, the attempt to give it to Hanchfield failed. Pjetok went to pick the ball up again, but this time, he dropped it.

With less than a minute left, the ball lay between Pjetok and Lord Edwin Garthrow. It was time for heroics, and Rollo Foghorn obliged. Dodging into the mass of defenders, he picked the ball up -- dodged under the mummy's arms, around Pjetok's cruel hands, and let the ball fly. It whistled mere inches over Commander Brun Hafford's outstretched, bandaged fingertips, over Cenwig Green, over Pennimay the tanner... almost half the field's length, right into One-Eye Brandywine's waiting hands. Sprinting down the field like mad, Brandywine ran it in two seconds before the final whistle blew. Surely the most impressive play in LOBBL so far this season, and one that delighted the 17,000 fans in attendance. ”