“Before the game, both coaches joked that the match would be "epic" - Chaos v. Norse, bash-o-rama. But neither expected what form the "epic-ness" would actually take.

Stupid, laughably extreme dice, bad again and again for the heavily favoured Butte Kickers. Blocking, dodging, casualty - if they caught what looked like a break, it would turn bad almost immediately. No, really, worse than bad - just... well, just epic. And almost no bad dice for Lindesfarne.

The short version is that, by quick count, out of 51 Blocks, Butte had 6 double-skulls, 7 skull/both-downs (which are at best meaningless against most Norse), and 14 Push results. Worse, it seemed that, on a team where 50% had block, every Both-Down was with a Chaos that had no Block, and every Skull was
with a Blocker. Seriously?


The game started with Butte receiving, safe kick to the 4 yard line, and a Pitch Invasion - 5 Lindesfarne were stunned, all in the backfield, leaving only 6 St 3 standing and half of those on the LoS (ready to get punished). By Turn's end the Chaos team had the ball safely screened, and only 4 Norse were standing to face them, plus one prone on the LoS, and all they managed was a Push, leaving 2 of their 5 men marked. Things were looking bad for the Norsers, right? Walk-in score for the superior Strength and skilled Chaos? Nah, nothing that Nuffle coulnd't stop!

2 Both-Downs stopped Butte's Turn 2 before it could start. The Norse stood up, formed a 2-deep defense, and fouled out Butte's best Chaos Warrior BH'd (if also using their Bribe to keep their DP in). Turn 3 Butte stunned the Norse Troll and moved their cage up to the LoS, but Lindesfarne answered by pushing them around a little, then throwing a perfect 4+ Bomb into the middle of 6 Chaos, KO'ing 2 (including another Warrior) and knocking 2 more prone - and then marking the ball with their only unmoved player, who happened to be in perfect position.

Turn 4 Butte stunned the marker and re-collected the ball but without an adequate screen - but it hadn't even started to get out of hand. Lindesfarne KO'd one Beastman and BH'd Butte's ballhandler, leaving 2 Warriors and 2 Beasts facing a full Norse squad. But the Chaos'ers manage to BH the Norse Kicker (who was Apo'd back), and scooped the ball and passed (incomplete), marked by a Warrior and a Beast.

End of Turn 4 the Norse Troll took out the 3rd Warrior - the first MB casualty, and had the ball midfield. Butte wasn't done, and BH'd the (gimped) Ulf BH next turn, but also -2d'd a skull v. the Troll to lose another Veteran Beastman BH. And with only 2 Beasts in range, the Norse' 9 Players stalled v. the remaining 4 and scored end of the half, but not before Butte RIP'd their DP (Apo'd to MNG), and BH'd Boomer, who was on his way out of the game anyway.

(For those not keeping track, that's 3 Warriors and 4 Beastmen out for Chaos (inc. their ballhandler), and an Ulf and 2 lino's for Norse, 1 Apo'd back, plus Star Boomer the Bomber.)

But Nuffle was only warming up.


2nd Half, 7 Chaos (inc. only 2 Warriors) lined up to kick 2nd half, but Turn 1 the Norse BH'd another Beastman. But up until now, altho' Butte's luck had been bad, it hadn't been epically bad...

Turn 1 started with skulls, RR'd to a Pow, and then Stunned the Troll - and then KO'd one of their own Beastmen in a failed Dodge. Turn 2 Skulls RR'd to Both-Downs, and the Claw/MB blitzer had no Block and so BH's himself. Lindesfarne scores again, up 2-0.

Butte receives Turn 3, their 6 remaining players on the LoS, and the kick is near a sideline and deep, to the 2. They manage to KO 2(!) linemen, stun a 3rd and knock a 4th prone, and one player falls back toward the ball, looking good. The Norse Troll RR's a both-down (the only he got), and penetrate a bit, threatening, so on Turn 4... Butte rolls yet another Both-Down to a Push, using their last RR, followed by... another Both-Down.

Lindesfarne hammers the only Beast near the ball, and Butte, almost predictably, double-skulls with a Warrior who actually had Block, and Lindesfarne waltzes in for score 3.

Turn 6 Butte receives for the 4th time, and 7 Chaos, inc. 3 Warriors show up to the first short kick the Norse have offered - and just in time for a Blitz. The Chaos recover the ball but double-skull their 3rd block, and altho' they BH a Lineman Turn 7, a Beastman double-skulls again, knocking himself out, and soon the game was, thankfully, over.


Liindesfarne came in just hoping to survive with no perms - Nuffle gets full credit for this mauling. And Respect to Coach Oneturnscore, who was always the first to make a joke (often good ones!) about his luck. It was, undeniably, epically, bad.



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