“Brutal, brutal game.

Evil KenThis must have decided to eat dwarf for breakfast today - his total tally of beating the ever-loving hell out of the Teethkickers included a knockout of Joey the Crowbar, hitting Brass-Knuckle Bob so hard that he couldn't return to the game, niggling Gutpunch Dave by turning his spine into an accordion, and, for the piece de resistance, flat-out murdering team star Billy von Brickbat in the middle of the pitch.

The dwarves put up a hell of a fight, though - I'd expect nothing less than a bunch of bearded, inebriated midgets - but today is just a dark, dark day in their history. Fortunately, team management had the foresight to keep enough gold in the vault to call Billy von Brickbat's son up from the minor leagues to walk in the footsteps of his now-deceased father.”