“Warpstone Open 2014, Qualifier III: Round One

"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME." -Rorschach

Watchmen Philosophy and Fruit Salad took the field on a day like any other. The air was cool and crisp, the field perfect for the carnage of Blood Bowl. At the coin toss, the Watchmen elected to receive, hoping to inflict some early damage on Fruit Salad.

The first block caused a lump to form in the throat of Watchmen Philosophy's coach. Double skulls, rerolled into a simple push. Against the might of the black orc blockers, this simply wasn't going to be enough. Nite Owl snarled and vowed to take up the slack - and he did just that by injuring their behemoth Apricot.

The next few turns went from bad to worse for Fruit Salad. Knockouts were frequent and injuries began to pile up as Watchmen Philosophy advanced the ball up the field. Ozymandias kept tight control on the ball as Watchmen drew closer and closer to the endzone, eventually handing off to Hollis Mason who walked the ball in for the score as turn 8 expired.

Watchmen Philosophy 1, Fruit Salad 0.

The first half expired in disastrous fashion for Fruit Salad. Granny Smith, their troll, was denied a pre-game snack and chose instead to feast on Pau Pau, a goblin of exceptional talent. Pau Pau was gone gone. For good good.

With their numbers whittled down to a mere fraction of what they started with, Fruit Salad grew desperate. They set up deep in their half with Orange (no relation to liquid) as their ballcarrier. Ozymandias gave pursuit, and it appeared that there was no escape for Orange from the onslaught.

The Watchmen were deceived. Orange heaved the ball from one end of the field to the other and nearly shocked the crowd with the Hail Mary pass from deep. Fortunately Hollis Mason was there to scoop the errant ball, but it was near disaster for the Watchmen as they showed an uncharacteristic lapse in concentration.

With the ball securely in hand, the Watchmen trudged back up field, knocking aside more and more of their opponents in the process. Granny Smith was buried near mid-field by the boot of Dollar Bill, sending two members of Fruit Salad six feet under - the troll Granny Smith and his previously-eaten goblin snack Pau Pau.

At the final whistle, Hollis Mason strode across the touch line and the Watchmen fans rewarded them with a smattering of applause. Clearly more is expected to earn great accolades from the Watchmen followers.

Watchmen Philosophy 2, Fruit Salad 0.

”