“KPL Season #2
KFC North round 1

Coach Cavetroll kicked open the door of the Starlight Corsairs locker room after the game. 'Gods damn that Rah-ma, he screwed us again! It's not enough that he botched the end of last season, what with having to play the Lybaras mutts three times in a row and getting shafted out of our Bloodweiser contract in the last game. But now he's gone and botched the Magic Items that Settra promised us for this match. And who did we play? The flea-bitten mutts AGAIN! Four @#&%ing games in a row! That must be some kind of record for matchmaking incompetence! How does Lord Settra tolerate that guy anyway?'

The thralls look terrified, and the Vampire Lords seem agitated by the Coach's rant which eventually peters out after a blue streak that lasts several minutes. Once he winds down, Captain Shebhorash speaks up. 'Coach, it won't do any good blaming Rah-Ma, nor trying to discern the mind of Lord Settra. We should focus on our next game...' it is clear that Shebhorash has more to say but the Coach cuts him off.

'That's enough out of you, Captain Chokerash! You could have tied this game up, but you let yourself get knocked out by that worthless mutt. And you, Wulfgar Von drinks-a-lot, what the hell is your problem? You bit 3 of the 6 thralls this match! Granted, they were only stuns, but still those are your teammates and they are more useful to everyone when they are up and moving. Not slaking your unholy thirst! The lot of you, 6 drinks out of 27 actions! How many times have I told you to tank up before the game starts? And Ozymandias, our so-called 'saviour', a light tap wasn't enough for you, huh? No, you had to take Radu cel Mare out for the entire game in the first FREAKING turn! You guys are going to give me an aneurism! And no, you can't feed off my corpse when I'm dead either. I've got so much garlic in my system it'd kill you where you stood if you tried. Well, at least the apothecary did something right, sort of. He saved Ozy from a niggling injury, but he'll still need a game off to heal his poor widdle ribs. You wusses! I thought you guys could regenerate? I haven't seen much of that so far. At least Bay Irsu has an excuse, he can't heal himself! You so-called 'Lords' better pull your head out and start working together as a team. Or so help me, I'll fire the lot of you and play with just Thralls!'

With that, Coach Cavetroll storms off to his office and slams the door. Several items fall off the wall and the dust is stirred up by the force of the crash. Nobody speaks for a while with most heads hanging or faces downcast. Finally, Mircea speaks up, 'it wasn't so bad. At least we completed a few passes and hurt a ghoul! Besides, everyone knows that Coach Azure is a big lucker. That chainsaw he induced never could have pulled off that blitz with any other coach, and that wizard got 2 KOs from his fireball! Against charmed inducements like that, there wasn't much we could do. Plus, the two worst Blood Lusts came early in the game and...'

Shebhorash sighs, 'Watch your tongue, Thrall. Your words have the ring of truth, but your attitude lacks respect. Coach has enough disrepect of his betters for all of us. Best learn how to run without tripping over your feet before you criticize your superiors.' But the young Catcher was right about the effectiveness of Azure's inducements. A lesser coach would never dare to play with so few probability mages for rerolls. Best to move on, he thought, and get ready for whomever was next. Hopefully they would not be as charmed. And he better figure out how to play without 2 of his fellow Lords. And down a Thrall, too. Yet again, he sighed wearily. Perhaps he and his fellow Lords were playing a bit to thirsty. He'd have to ponder that.

Blood Lust stats
thanks to Azure for helping me keep track of this

Shebhorash Blood Dragon - 1 fail in 1st half (Cleomenes of Numas stunned)
Draculesti Helsinger - 1 fail in 1st half (Matei Basarab KO'd)
Rutger 'Wulfgar' Von Carstein - 1 fail in 1st half (Bay Irsu stunned), 2 fails in 2nd half (Weni the Elder stunned twice)
Ozymandias Ptolemy II Philadelphus - 1 fail in the 1st half (Radu cel Mare Badly Hurt)

Total 6 fails out of 27 rolls (4 of 19 1st half, 2 of 8 2nd half), resulting in 4 stuns/1 KO/1 BH. The Badly Hurt and the KO came in the first 2 turns. Clearly these guys are running thirstier than normal. We'll see if they improve as the season moves forward.”