“Ulthuan Invitational 2014 Brass Lantern Qualifer: Round One

"You forgot how we do things, Daniel. You've gotten too soft. Too trusting."
-Rorschach

On paper this looked like just the kind of matchup Watchmen Philosophy loves - a low number of opposing players, a wizard on hand to create all kinds of havoc, and a healthy group of heroes ready to take the pitch.

In reality, this game was anything but ideal.

Famous Vegetarians chose to receive and began their march up the pitch. While they weren't causing a huge number of casualties, they were having great success at knocking players nearly every turn, as Watchmen Philosophy put on an exercise in futility in the casualty department.

At the end of the half, Steve Jobs strolled into the endzone, sending the Famous Vegetarian fans into a frenzy.

Watchmen Philosophy 0, Famous Vegetarians 1.

Time and time again the heroes of Watchmen Philosophy were sent packing and the second half started with them having a scant nine members on the pitch, while Famous Vegetarians fielded a full team of eleven. Early in the half Sally Jupiter began to pick up the slack, injuring one Vegetarian and sending a few others to the KO box.

As the half wore on, more and more Vegetarians began making that trip. With fewer and fewer players left to defend, Famous Vegetarians put up an incredible defensive stand. They finally managed to knock the ball free, thanks to an inspired blitz from Pythagoras. With only one reroll remaining, Ozymandias managed to recover and dodge free, securing the ball and sprinting into the endzone for the team's first touchdown.

Watchmen Philosophy 1, Famous Vegetarians 1.

Thinking the game was destined to go into overtime and believing they might encounter good fortune to counterbalance some of the ill fortune this game had shown them, Watchmen Philosophy lined up deep as they kicked off for the final turn of the half.

As it turns out, that should've been plural. TURNS. A riot in the crowd led to the referee putting extra time on the clock and Famous Vegetarians took full advantage. Leaving nothing to chance, they chainpushed Nite Owl and got the legendary Leonardo da Vinci into position to attempt the one-turn score. As has always been the case with da Vinci, the stars were aligned and the Watchmen fans stood with their mouths agape as the dark elves took the lead again. All that remained was a meaningless kickoff to put the stamp on it, as the heroes of Watchmen Philosophy made an embarrassing first round exit.

Final score: Watchmen Philosophy 1, Famous Vegetarians 2.

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