“Prior to this game the Commissar warned of the anarcho-syndicalist leanings of their goblin opponents. In a move designed to counter their sneaky ways Comrade Hack Enslash with his chainsaw "Proletarian anger at the neck of the Bourgeoisie" was induced along with more vodka babes.
The Commissars warnings fell on deaf ears and from the opening whistle Comrades were felled. It was like the Kiev pocket in 1941, wherever you looked there was a battered comrade. by the time the half time whistle went Yesov was dead and there was only one player on the pitch. 0-1 at the half.
The half time team beating (Im sorry I mean briefing) was brutal but ineffective. A good kick for the goblins was fumbled at the pick up and soon it was 0-2. Then moments later 0-3 following another failed collection. 0-4 followed moments later after a failed pass to clear and on the whistle the goblins ran in a consolation fifth touchdown. The Commissar was speechless with rage and after he had finished chewing he carpet a terrified minion gave the following press statement. "The Commissar is sure that the home crowd are as full of righteous Soviet anger as he is. Anyone who wishes to make their feelings known should report to the team Crypt in Red Square where the team tombs will be open and members of the NKVD will be distributing baseball bats. I suggest you make your anger known particularly in the case of the Ghoul Cadre, Yesov was lucky to be killed quickly" ”