“Match Report by JackassRampant

Both teams come in 0-0-1 with no skills. UMass lost a Blitzer last game, and is fielding a Journeyman. Turnout is light and favors the home team. UMass coach Tenacious Piggy calls (curly) tails, and opts to receive.

First Half: ULL coach DrPoods lines up a classic Ziggurat, with Blitzer wings and safeties. ULL stacks the line with a strong south side and a wide screen, with Lineman Adam Richard cheating north at halfback and Thrower Mark Johnson at fullback. Ball scatters southwards, and a Quick Snap yields a southward drift from the offense. Turns 2 and 3 see ULL cutting off UMass's escape route and ULL Blocker Darien Batiste MNG'ing a UMass Blitzer, but Elijah Wilkinson manages to injure an Orc Lineman, and ULL burns its Apothecary to keep him in the game. The sideline cage holds but the pressure remains fierce, and a Turn 4 handoff sees a TD for UMass Lineman Leo Krizanovic. 1-0 UMass.

The second drive is 11 men on 10 in favor of ULL. UMass sets up an Arrowhead defense with a 101 line, Ogre at noseguard. ULL carrier Hunter Thibodeaux (Blitzer) outruns his protection ever so slightly, and in the resulting scrum UMass Ogre Sam the Minuteman kills a Blocker and Blitzer Sam Zeff Badly Hurts a Lineman on a 1d block (a good drive for guys named Sam). Nobody really gets the ball until turn 8, and even then the UMass desperation long pass, into coverage, to a marked receiver, is just a bridge too far. UMass is leading 1-0 and has more teeth left.

Second Half: UMass sets up pickets at the 4, 2, and 0 columns in the backfield with the same bunched line as last time, Ogre on the nose. ULL spreads their line out, with their remaining blockers lining up on the 1 columns, and Blitzer Quanties Armand back to take the ball. Blocker Marvin Martin gets a Cas on the Minutemen's Journeyman, and again ULL fails to cage after getting the ball to the line. The ball comes loose, and if I had to judge a winner of the scrum I'd say not Krizanovic, who gets Badly Hurt by ULL Blitzer Kevin Forquier. Comedy ensues, nobody scores, and UMass wins 1-0.

Player of the Week: Must I? Okay. Krizanovic. He caught the handoff that won the game.”